What was I talking about?

When we left off yesterday I was having difficulty discussing my over-attachment to people and their content on YouTube specifically. Let's dive into that.

I am going to zero in on one example to keep my true crazy withheld for a moment longer. There is a creator on the Tubes that comes out with weekly videos to keep people posted on the progress he is making on his series. I love his series. I also think this creator is hella cool. His opinion is something I find truly fascinating. I am hoping, once he wraps up his series, he continues giving said opinion on various other things in the world. It would be something I would continue to show up and watch.

That being said, let's move on to the nitty gritty. The recent changes in YouTube is apparently making it harder for some creators to succeed. The thought process coming at him from so many different angles had him thinking that maybe he should change things on his channel to keep up. Which boiled down to either eliminating or limiting my access to his witty commentary. This, as I'm sure can be guessed, is something that I can not stand idly by and allow. Obviously if he really wanted to give up he could. Fortunately, he put it to a vote to his audience. Unfortunately, my perusal of the comments only brought me more dread as I saw comment after comment of "go ahead and stop."

This is where my attachment comes into play. I felt my stomach sinking as he did his lead up speech of how he felt. For some reason the "I'm leaving YouTube" speech is always the same. No matter how happy the person starts off I can sniff it out a mile away. I don't know if it's because I become familiar with the person's mannerisms and that gives it away. Maybe it's the finality to everything they say that clues me in. He started that he didn't want to leave altogether, he just wanted to cut his updates and go back to only highlighting his series. Either way he was talking and I was cringing.

I pleaded in the most pathetic, albeit honest, way I could for him not to. I let him know how important his updates were to me. I reminded him that his fans would take care of the turnout. That all he had to do was the provide us the reason to run rabid and we wouldn't fail. I painted a picture of myself panic-stricken staring at my computer screen. What is worse, I walked around all day today worrying whether or not others had convinced him to cease and desist. I was convinced he would be swayed.

He wasn't. What's more he replied to me personally to tell me as much. It appears my mental image of me as a kicked puppy moved him to at least assure me that he would go on. Talk about gushing when I saw that response. He took the time to answer me. Told me that my response helped cement his feelings on the matter. He may have been joking, but it still meant a lot to me.

I love it when they respond. I equate it to going to a concert of your favorite band, reaching up towards them only to have them reach out and grab your hand. Deciding to acknowledge you out of the thousands of screaming fans surrounding you. He reached out and grabbed my proverbial hand, letting me know that I was an audience member that mattered. It's why I can't shake my over-attachment to YouTube. It is a different level of being a fan. There are relatable people doing things I find interesting. They are in places in the world that I can't imagine ever getting to, inviting me in to share. And as if being a fly on the wall in their life wasn't enough, occasionally a line of conversation is struck. All of a sudden you're conversing with these people you find interesting. Why not be a fan? I stay overly attached, thanks.