Monumentour

I bought Paramore by Paramore and got extra excited to see them live. I bought a ticket for their stop in my town on Monumentour. I had a panic attack thinking I missed the show. Then I worked a full day on the day of the show.

Then the show happened.

Paramore cancelled their set.

I got rained on.

There was lightning.

The power went out.

New Politics had to vacate the stage mid-set.

Things were on a downward spiral.


And then they weren't. Fall Out Boy took the stage and well... More on that later.

Deep breath in, exhale. Don't cry. It really is okay.

An E-mail sent was sent to me letting me know that I concert I was looking forward to was about to happen. A run of the mill get-your-ticket-before-it's-too-late message. I, thinking it's a reminder for Monumentour, clicked on it expecting to see details for Tuesday night. Instead I saw details for Aug 2. As in a day that has passed. As in I sat in my bed while this concert happened. Hands shaking I start looking at every bit of information I thought I had. I finally find my ticket and see that it does say Aug 5th, the day I had on my calendar. I go back to the E-mail and finally see it. It's for a city I do not live in. Oh man. That scared me. My heart started racing and even though I haven't missed this concert I feel tears threatening.

This little incident played to my fears. I have had long days that have caused me to forget my evening commitments. With the way work has been going it feels like a very real possibility for me to have a long day and just go home forgetting the concert. Only realizing my folly upon waking up the next day. In fact, I just did such a thing on Friday. I was planning on going to a friend's birthday celebration but forgot after a co-worker kept me at work an extra hour. The thought that I'll just forget about this concert fits so well with my dingbat antics that I am so scared I'll actually forget.

Despite being so excited for this concert. Despite playing the music I can't wait to see repeatedly. Despite it not being the 5th and still having the chance to attend, I deeply shaken by what I thought was an actualization of my fears. This may be a mixture of my love for music and my need for sleep and exercise.

This is what I get for not checking my E-mails regularly.

Rat a Tat

Here we are again. Sitting in excitement about what is to come.

Monumentour is two days away. It's a little surprising to me how excited I am. I remember when I got it into my head that I wanted to go to a Paramore concert. I remember when I told myself to stop being silly about the fact that they were coming with Fall Out Boy. I even remember when the game changer happened.

A friend of mine had me watch the video Fall Out Boy made for their album. The entire album. While it was a bit much, it did what it was made to do. It gave me a reason to sit and listen to the album. A decision that lead to me purchasing it for further research.

My only opinion is it's so good. When I listen to Paramore, I want to see them live. I had it in my mind that I needed to make this happen. So I purchased a ticket to Monumentour. Now, listening to Save Rock and Roll, it's getting to the point that I get butterflies in my stomach thinking about the greatness of this concert. To say I am excited... Butterflies. I literally want to jump for joy when I think about it. I can hardly wait to be present for this showcase of... Of what I feels speaks to and resonates in my soul. A bit much. I don't care.

Music that I love is going to happen in live in a venue and I will be there. I will see the music as it unfolds from their hands and throats. I will ride the highs and lows of the energy put off by those surrounding me who also feel the love I feel. Why would I want to be anywhere else?

Whoa. I am riling myself up. I shall stop talking about this until a later date.

Maybe my greatest love despite what you think

There seem to be a lot of requirements surrounding a person's ability to be passionate. I will admit that I have been guilty of criticizing the love and passion of others. I have mixed up one's love with one's ability to be a FAQs page. I'll admit to being wrong about that here: I am wrong. This realization came when someone called into question my love of music.

Two-fold situation: First, recently I have been told by several people that I know it all when it comes to music. I sing along to just about everything when I am familiar enough. Basically give me two days of the radio and I'll know enough Top 40* to be able to cancel it's irritation by singing along. I refute the accusation of musical omniscience because it just isn't true. My most accurate response is that I listen to a lot of music. Which, while I feel represents me well, also feels inaccurate in the grand scheme of things. I mean, on a global scale of music out there versus what I've heard... Astronomical difference.
Second, someone told me I didn't know music because I wasn't knowledgeable with every lyric that fell from the mouth of Ozzy Osbourne. I know who he is and I understand he is a pillar in the music industry. However, the genre he represents isn't my go to. Similar to rap.

I'm speaking out against people who crap on other people's passions just because their requirements aren't met. I refuse to allow someone's outside view tell me how I feel about music. My music collection represents a lot of different genres but by no means all of them and certainly not equally.

Though this little high horse has my thinking. This just may be a well timed experiment to promote self-awareness. Knowing that there are times where I am far too sensitive should prepare me for dealing with my own reactions. Instead of getting irritated I should just remind myself that I don't know everything there is to know about music. Plus it isn't bad to remember that other opinions do not take away what music is to me. Now I understand how it feels to impose my requirements on the passions of others. No one asked me and I need to never stop shutting up.

For some people being passionate is knowing everything. I have been obsessed with that line of thinking in the past. Life just recently taught me that wasn't always necessary. Music being one example. I am not stuck in the music that happened three decades ago. It is great, but not everything. There is so much new stuff to find and explore. There are so many artist coming out and showing new ways to use music for expression. I'd say I'm stuck in the now, yet it's really just what's brought to my attention. An album sounds great and will be released next week, I want it. An album has a great rhythm and was dropped ten years ago, I want it.

I just want to continue my romance with music.


*No offense meant to Top 40, I just find it annoying that radio doesn't seem to diversify. Ever.