21 Answers: I don't think we're compatible

I really cannot stand this song called 21 Questions. After years of being irritated about it I think it's long overdue that I write down why it bothers me.

The opening lyrics are not as bad as they could be. It starts off giving you a feeling that he could be looking for love:

New York City!
You are now rapping...with 50 Cent
You gotta love it...
I just wanna chill and twist a lot
Catch suns in my 7-45
You drive me crazy shorty I
Need to see you and feel you next to me
I provide everything you need and I
Like your smile I don't wanna see you cry
Got some questions that I got to ask and I
Hope you can come up with the answers babe

Then there the chorus:

Girl...It's easy to love me now
Would you love me if I was down and out? If it's really love then yes.
Would you still have love for me?
Girl...It's easy to love me now
Would you love me if I was down and out?
Would you still have love for me?
Girl...

Moving on to the second verse is where I start thinking he can't possibly be serious:

If I feel off tomorrow would you still love me? yes
If I didn't smell so good would you still hug me? probably not
If I got locked up and sentenced to a quarter century,
Could I count on you to be there to support me mentally? No, no, hell no. What the hell did you do to get locked up for 25 years? That's a pretty good crime and I don't need/want criminals in my life.
If I went back to a hoopty from a Benz, would you poof and disappear like
some of my friends? No, because I wouldn't love you because of your car.
If I was hit and I was hurt would you be by my side? Absolutely
If it was time to put in work would you be down to ride? If by work you mean peddling drugs (or something else illegal), not only are you on your own for a ride but you will also find yourself very single.
I'd get out and peel a nigga cap and chill and drive
I'm asking questions to find out how you feel inside Again, I won't be anywhere mixed up in that, and now I'm seeing why you're worried about your 25 years to life. Now we're tap dancing next to assault with a deadly weapon and murder. I'm NOT going to jail behind you. Not to mention that I can't be here to support you mentally if I'm in jail with you.
If I ain't rap 'cause I flipped burgers at Burger King
would you be ashamed to tell your friends you feelin' me? No.
And in bed if I used to my tongue, would you like that? If you ever get me in bed (i.e. marry me, and let me tell you it isn't looking all that promising), I'll let you know.
If I wrote you a love letter would you write back? Yeah
Now we can have a lil' drink you know a nightcap
And we could go do what you like, I know you like that I have a feeling what I like to do is far off the mark from what you like to do. I'd feel weird asking you to come and it'll be uncomfortable for the both of us.

And that's just the second verse. From there they go over the chorus, driving home the fact that real love is there through thick and thin. But the next verse starts asking questions that not only leave me with the impression that this guy is an idiot, but also angers me:

Now would you leave me if you're father found out I was thuggin'? I wouldn't take my father finding out. Once I figured out that that was your source of income we wouldn't be together.
Do you believe me when I tell you, you the one I'm loving? Unless you give me reason not to (i.e. show signs of serial infidelity), yes.
Are you mad 'cause I'm asking you 21 questions? No, they help us see if we are compatible.
Are you my soulmate? 'Cause if so, girl you a blessing I wouldn't hold my breath on that one.
Do you trust me enough, to tell me your dreams? If I love you, yes.
I'm staring at ya' trying to figure how you got in them jeans
If I was down would you say things to make me smile? Of course, I want to be there to build you up.
I treat you how you want to be treated just teach me how
If I was with some other chick and someone happened to see?
And when you asked me about it I said it wasn't me
Would you believe me? Or up and leave me?
How deep is our bond if that's all it takes for you to be gone? 1. You aren't treating me how I want to be treated if you're with some other girl. 2. If I believed you and you lied to me I'm not the one at fault and you're that much more of a jack wagon. 3. Why are you lying to me? You just told me that you were with her, own up to your mistakes. I won't take you lying to me. 4. Our bond obviously wasn't that deep if you can't stay faithful to me. Don't fault anyone but yourself for my leaving when I find out.
And always remember girl we make mistakes, to make it up I do whatever it take
I love you like a fat kid love cake Stop making so many mistakes and you wouldn't have to keep doing whatever it takes to make it up to me.
You know my style I say anything to make you smile Doesn't this mean that you'll make a habit of lying to me? That is not okay. I don't want a relationship built on lies.

Then again with the chorus and a bridge to carry the song out:

Could you love me in a Bentley? Yes
Could you love me on a bus? Yes
I'll ask 21 questions, and they all about us
Could you love me in a Bentley?
Could you love me on a bus?
I'll ask 21 questions, and they all about us

All in all, this relationship wouldn't work. I need our love to be honest. We make mistakes but I won't condone you lying to me, cheating on me, getting caught up in criminal acts, and expecting me to be your ride or die. He needs to choose a better mode of life. Even the questions I answer yes to seem iffy because his lifestyle lets me know that he's a loser.

Rules for Survival

1) Don't be a creep, it's not nice

2) If you happen to not follow rule number 1 and you are a creep realize that if they start laughing at you... Beware! Chances are they know something you don't. Usually it's something that would hurt more to understand than to remain ignorant of.

Diary of a disgruntled sales rep

I hate children. Any child that I am exposed to for a prolonged period of time will, eventually, end up irritating me. Related or not. They all remind me at some point that I hate children. Generally it is those that are predisposed to misbehave that really get my goat. I've recently come to the conclusion, though, that majority of the reasons that I dislike children can be traced back to their parents' lack of parenting skills.

I work in a store that specializes in clothing private school students. It isn't an ideal job for me for the reasons that I have stated above. I try my hardest to deal with the parents and hope that they will put forth the effort to keep their child from acting like a complete imp. This, I know, is not the best way for me to complete the tasks in my job description. However, I find that there isn't any point of me trying to keep a child in line when the parents are acting as if their miniature demons cannot do any wrong. So for those out there who are a complete boob when it comes to parenting here is a list of ways to cause the sales representative to really hate you and your child.

• Do not stare at your child and do nothing while they pull items off the racks. That is generally a grand time for you to step to the parenting plate and pitch a few in-store behavior guidelines.
• Watch your child. I can assure you that it is not entertaining in the least for you to stand in one spot and yell your child's name several times to make sure they are still in the store every couple minutes. I can also assure you that when you start to call your child's name and I know who you are talking about and can point you in the right direction. that is not a good thing.
  
• Do not allow your child to climb on the sales rack. If you are not doing the previous point, by all means stop them once you find them. It shouldn't take a story of some child being decapitated by the same apparatus that your child is currently playing of to get you to say "get down."
  
• In the case of uniforms, do not stop every 20 seconds to ask your child's opinion. It's a school uniform, everyone at the school has to where it. Make sure it fits, buy it, and then tell said child to get over it.
• Do not reward bad behavior. When a child does something they shouldn't and you smile at them or comment on how cute that is, that let's them know that what they are doing is ok. It's not. When a few years pass and you're trying to figure out why this brat is out of control, refer yourself to the trips to the store as part of the beginning of the problem.
• Do not give your child my displays as toys. My items are not there for your child's destructive pleasure. Chances are your kid has more than enough crap at home to amuse their shortsighted minds. Bring one of those with you when you go out so that I'm not having to mend what they break.
• My office supplies are also not your child's toys. If you would rather not have a child write of something, don't hand them a pen just because they whine for it.
• Do not use my store as a Tumblin Tots gym. Teach your child that there are certain activities that are acceptable in a store and ones that are acceptable on a playground only.
• Clean up the mess your child makes. It is my job to maintain a clean sales floor, yes. It is not my job to play maid for your misbehaving, over-indulged, poorly managed brat. You are not giving me a job by allowing your me to clean the mess your child has made of my store. You are making my job harder and me bitter.
• Finally, if you want to avoid your child throwing a fit when you tell them no, tell the no and stand by your no on a regular basis.
  

In short, I hate your children. If any of the aforementioned points has stepped on your toes, I hate your children specifically. And also, I hate you for not teaching your children and giving me reason to hate them. Your children are going to grow up to be a pompous creeps and it will be your fault. All of it will be your fault.