The itch is setting in

It's that time of the year again. That time when I look around and realize that as the year is ending the time to try the new things is dawning. When years come to a close, I always find myself with an itch to try or do something that I don't usually do. I don't know why. I just do.

Let's get one thing straight: I don't like calling them New Year's resolutions. I don't care for making resolutions. I also never keep resolutions when I make them. Never keeping them makes it absolutely true that they are a waste of time. Plus I don't like telling people my resolutions when I make them because it just adds to the guarantee that I won't keep it. Which would mean on top of failure then I'll have people shaming me for not finishing what I've started. (In hindsight, I can only remember being shamed once, but it put a bad taste in my mouth for all resolutions ever.) I just don't make resolutions.

Anyway, back to my point. I try new things. What I love about trying these year long projects (for lack of a better word) is the feeling I get from the planning process. These things really are daunting to me. I get butterflies in my stomach and the jitters as I nail down the specs for the year. It makes me look forward to a new year of exciting things and new accomplishments. I don't always succeed at what I set out to do but having tried in the first place makes me feel all the better.

I've been wondering about my next project. Trying to decide on something simply because it's what I do. I was trying to force it. That doesn't work for me. I have to wait for it to come to me. Today it did. I'm still in the middle of nailing down the specifics. Which means that I am extremely extremely excited. This always makes me anxious for the start of the new year. Now I can't wait.

Grateful pick me up

I've been feeling a bit anxious about things in my life lately. Today there was definitely more anxiety about not meeting goals and wondering about my future. I know that there are things in my life that can be changed by me. I know that my unhappiness is stemmed from my lack of drive to change things. I just don't know how to start. (I think that was my last post.) So, in order to not sink into that debilitating funk of uselessness I composed a list of ten reasons I'm grateful (seriously, why do we spell it like this?)


 1. Healthy Family
Despite the blow my family has taken in the last year we are currently going on a streak of no ailments. While we may not be happy all of the time, at least our health is not an issue.

2. My car

The freedom to get where I need or would like to be is a wonderful thing. It's something that has taught me responsibility and time management. The latter is a really great thing to learn.

3. That I have jobs

I love things. I need money in order to get the things. It's nice to have a way to earn money that will allow me to get the things I want.

4. Not oversleeping to a detrimental extent

I'm doing a lot right now and am not always sleeping as I should. Getting out of bed gets really hard (for the record: I don't like to get out of bed when I'm well rested and sleep deprivation does not help). I'm just happy that it hasn't been so hard that I've missed an appointment.

5. Enough to pay my bills.

Once again, I like things and I'm glad to not have incurred more bills than money to pay them.

6. PoPS

Platoon of Power Squadron! I love this show. It makes me happy. Check it out.

7. Youtubers/Youtube

This is one of the things that ties into reason 9. I love the content. Other people's ideas and lives of which they are allowing me to catch glimpses. I'm thankful that Youtube provides an outlet for individuals to share these items.

8. Friends

Having people around to do everything from laugh to cry or whisper to yell and everything in between is just something that is a wonderful thing to have. I appreciate my friends.

9. Reasons to laugh

 Laughing is my all time favorite thing to do, so having reasons to do so is a blessing and I love and appreciate all of them.

10. Music

What better way is there to express yourself, memorize things, dance, and relax than music? There isn't.