Having children

Having children is having your heart broken when you wake up one day and realized that they can't stand you anymore.
It's forgetting your years of raising Cain and holding your kids up to standards that you were never able to uphold.
It's sacrificing so much just for it to not be enough.
In having children, it's neglecting at least one of them because you can't be there for everything.
It's being resented for not being there though it's because you're working so hard for them to be there in the first place.
It's having to decide to love your child from a distance so that you can continue to stand each other.

My dreams of child rearing involve being rather close to my child, not loving from a distance. I know that my cynical look on this only sets me up for the alternative of being alone. I'm alone now and from where I'm sitting both situations leave you living in smoldering resentment.

Having children is 30 years to life, and I can't see what I've done to deserve that.