Forgo sleep for the love of laughter

I love to laugh and hate to get out of bed. At the moment I am simultaneously treating myself and creating problems. I can't stop watching PoPS updates because the guys is hilarious. Unfortunately that means I am breaking two of my rules. I am writing this here snippet in an attempt to reign myself in and go to bed.

However for the record, happiness is a PoPS update.

Tomorrow is going to be a long day. Full day at work with a extra dose of other tasks.

My fandom sucks

I find myself in danger of becoming a screaming fangirl who blindly defends the object of their obsession without reason or knowledge. It's a shameful state to be in and I should have seen this coming. There have been many a soliloquy of my happiness to follow people. While I do feel is something wrong with idolatry, I do not feel there is a problem with allowing someone to be a positive influence.


The danger comes when we forget that people are human. The screaming fangirl comes in when a pedestal is placed under someone. It's a shame.

I just want to be a fan. I quite enjoy looking up to people. I want to find others who are more talented than me and encourage them. People who help restore my faith in humanity, as it is really rather low. I enjoy the creative and/or extremely intelligent. Though I will admit to listening more to the creative ones. Rooting for someone has always been my thing. I run into problems when I forget that adults, like the people I follow, can take care of themselves.

I don't need to come to the aid of my fellow adults. For one thing, if they wanted to go after someone who's picking a fight they would. I do not need to commit on everything. I do not need to defend these people. Besides, what on earth am I going to do from behind a computer? Absolutely nothing, that's what. I have to remember my place, not only in my life but in the life of these people. In short, I don't truly have a place in their lives and if I do it certainly isn't prominent. They don't need me to go to war for them and it is childish for me to think so. They can defend themselves.

Sometimes I'm really disgusted when I recognize the amount of growing up I still need to do.

Question

Is the phrase "multiple people" redundant? If by multiple you mean more than one person than yes. People by definition is more than one person. Multiple meaning more than one. Broken down the phrase "multiple people" means more than one more than on person. In short, redundant. That answers that.

I feel it's about time I stop saying multiple people. Here is a beginning of my cutting some of the superfluity from my spoken word.

Living life is hard

My new set of rules is making it very difficult to catch up on all that I am behind on YouTube. I've been about 5 videos behind for over a week. It reminds me that I am indeed subscribed to far too many channels. It kills me to unsubscribe. Not that I haven't done so before, but it's something I do only when watching the videos feel like a chore for months. Ridiculous, I know. It's what I do all the same.

Between exercising, having a bedtime, and taking care of home life things I can't seem to find the time to sit stationary for five hours at a time. Then there's the going to be at ten thing. Let me tell you. It's making it very difficult to stay awake after ten.

#30 day to do

I've decided to participate on all of the #30daytodo. It's one of the many things that YouTubers are making up to get their followers to be less stationary. One person thought of 30 days of fitness. They got off a stint of eating terribly and felt "squishy." In response they decided they would eat healthy and exercise while inviting their followers to do the same. Then there is another person who wanted to do September Smash. Basically they wanted to limit their sugar intake and also be more active throughout September. Yet another content creator decided to make a list of things they would start doing in order to establish better habits for being an adult called #30daytodo.

Enter this girl. I already had it in my head to start being more responsible. Not only from a financial stand point but also taking better care of my body. I've unsuccessfully tried to start up these things on multiple occasions. What's better to keep me accountable than someone I don't know who won't actually be able to check up on my progress? Answer: nothing. Not entirely true but it is giving me a reason to start again. I've decided to do a mix of September Smash and #30daytodo. Why? Because it's about time I got my life in gear. Why the mixture? Because half a month is not long enough for me to effectively establish better habits that will get me to a healthier me.

Starting the 15th, here are a few rules for my life, two of which I am currently breaking.

1.  make a budget and stick to it
2.  exercise daily
3.  write daily blogs
4.  practice guitar twice a week
5.  call mother once a week
6.  brush teeth nightly
7.  only eat out once weekly
8.  call brother once a week
9.  call sister once a week
10. set a goal for savings
11. write in journal twice a week
12. be out of bed by 9 AM on days off
13. clean room weekly
14. dust every two weeks
15. vacuum room every two weeks
16. be on time
17. go to bed at 10pm
18. manage time better
19. clean dishes immediately after use
20. drink more water
21. don't snooze
22. drink less soda
23. pay off credit cards
24. finish books in a timely fashion
25. no YouTube after 9:30 PM


I may be editing this list. There are supposed to be thirty items but I could only think of 25. Things have come up that I feel should be added though I don't get to where the list is stored before it's forgotten. The list is a shameless exhibit of the terrible person I am., something that I've made a note of in the past. Now I need to get on with checking off the things on this list.

Better person? Maybe

I guess the thought never occurs to us that people treat us the way we let them treat us. I've decided to grow more of a backbone. However I know that just being confrontational isn't going to help my work life go any smoother. I've also decided to that I need to chill out and not let things bug me as much. That last bit is news to me though.

I want to follow the trend that is sweeping the content creators I'm following. I want to be a better person starting in September. Although I let the first half of the month slide a little. I started it today. I also failed today when I snoozed this morning and was late leaving for work.

I can't really elaborate on this as another rule is that I go to bed at 10pm which is fast approaching. I'm also not supposed to be off the web after 9:30pm as to give myself a chance to get to bed on time. Again I'll elaborate later. Now I must proofread and go to bed.

I'm not one of the cool kids

The last three months has brought too many situations where I'm excluded. I feel as though I am always hearing about things after the fact. I'm supposed to show up and do my part when I wasn't apart of the planning and had no say in how to best tackle the problem. In the worst possible way I feel like I'm in high school. Though it's not like my actual high school, more like the high school where Mean Girls takes place. There are the cool kids who decide what's best for the school and what my duties are. What is that about?

No one seems to understand why I am constantly frustrated. How about asking instead of telling me?

Well this is uncomfortable.

I'm getting that strange feeling that I'm biting off more than I can chew. I don't like it. I'm not sure if it's self doubt or laziness or a genuine need to self preserve. It's adding to a list of things that has me questioning something about myself. What does it mean?

Juice? No thanks.

I don't understand juicing. An entire day's portion of vegetables in one glass. A whole line of kitchen appliances to throw money at. Businesses revolving around extracting juice from veggies. Why? So you want to protein? Antioxidants? Maybe you want the vitamins. These are good things to have. Those being in your diet does make for a better you. If it's done in moderation and with exercise. There has to be a better way to get these things. A more natural way.

Oh that's right. It's called eating your vegetables. You get all the vitamins, antioxidants, and protein as you do from drinking it. And here's a freebie: you get an added bonus of fiber. What's that noise? Yey regularity.

No.

Yesterday being hard carried on to today. I woke up this morning decided that I wasn't in the mood for this. At all. I think the precise thought was "no." I was five minutes away from calling in. Fortunately, being able to pay bills on time prevailed and I got up. I made it to work by the skin of my teeth. I even participated when I got there.

Trust me when I say I was happy to get home. I should strive to get more sleep. I think this may be the reason why being motivated has become so difficult. I may have to jump on the 30daytodo and get my life together.

I just want sleep

Today was hard. I don't know if it was the mixture lack of sleep and early rising or just poor living but I had a hard time working today. It usually isn't hard for me to get out of bed on Sundays. Today was not the case. The entire day I felt like I was slogging uphill. My boss looked as dead on his feet as I felt. Both of us desperately wanted to call it a day and close the store early. We didn't, for the record.

All day I wanted to post the same status:

What do you do when you're extra tired and just want to go home and get back in bed? You get to work.

Nickel Creek on stage. Saw it.

I got to experience the reunion tour of Nickel Creek. To summarize how it was without the fluff, it was awesome. To explain it with the fluff I have to start with the ticket purchase.

I heard about Nickel Creek getting back into the studio through Twitter. Then I promptly forgot about the tour that would be associated with the promotion of product of that studio time. Thanks to my second favorite form of entertainment, YouTube, I was reminded. I looked up the tour and saw that I had less than three weeks before there was a show. I tried to get my former roommate to come with me. He was after all the person who tried to introduce me to the band. I let him know that this was his chance. Having once told him that I would give the band a listen when I saw them live, them no longer being disbanded made it a joke on me.

The show was held in the beautiful Majestic Theater in downtown Dallas. I went alone. Turns out it was bad timing for my former roommate. My seat was just four rows back from the stage. Something that would have worried me as I was right under the wolfers but the sound carried well enough without the audio needing to be turned up too loud. I managed to have a good conversation with the ladies sitting on either side of me. They were both there alone as well and neither one from the area. Things started with Sarah Jarosz playing her set. During it I made a mental note to look into more of her work. She was rather good. Side note, she looks younger to me in person than she comes across through singing and videos. Her soulfully rounded voice didn't connect to the youthful face I saw on stage. Good nonetheless.

We waited a bit, though not as long as I expected, for Nickel Creek to get set up and come to the stage. I shall note that once again I attended a concert where I was not all that familiar with the music of the performer. I knew and am quite a fan of Chris Thile. I missed him the last time he came through town and decided to not make that mistake again. He seemed to talk more between set than when I saw him with the Punch Brothers. That may have been what encouraged the heckler. More on that later.

The lights lower and here come Sara, Sean and Chris plus a gentleman who played the bass. The audience cheered like a bunch of nuts. They jumped right into their set. There was a mixture of old versus new. Coming out of one song we were told that every word of it was true and that the same was true about the next tune. The next tune being an instrumental piece. Every word.

After wrapping up another song Chris launched into one of my most enjoyed parts of the night:

Chris: That last piece was a happy tune. It's safe to say this next piece isn't. Well, it's safe for me to say. Maybe not you guys. That's the advantage of knowing the set list. I can say it, you cannot. I can accurately say that the next song isn't a happy tune --
Heckler (from the balcony): I can't wait to hear it!
Sara (from out of nowhere): You may have to.
Audience: cheers wildly
Chris: Yeah, it's safe to say the next song isn't happy. Knowing the set list, sir, I can tell you that it may only agitate you. I know that about the next 3 minutes and 15 seconds... or 7 minutes if I keep talking. It's full of anger and doubt and actually may be perfect for you. You know what? I dedicate the next song to you, sir, in the balcony. I give you permission to let it all out. We can have a moment of silence just the two of us to start. Does a hushing motion to the laughing audience and then turns to the balcony and does a you-and-me gesture. 

He stood there silently for a moment before launching You Don't Know What's Going On. It was awesome. They were back lit with red lights and Chris played his mandolin so hard I wondered how long before he needed to refinish the instrument. Nuggets of joy like that continued. Chris later let us in on the reason Nickel Creek took a six and a half year break. They simply ran out of names for instrumental songs.

The show was incredible. I got a new appreciation for Hayloft. Destination is one of my new favorite songs. In the true form that these guys are incredible performers they left us with the greatest performance of Where is Love Now. Due to the acoustics of the Majestic being what they are the four of them unplugged for the final song. They came to the front of the stage. There were simple white light beams pointed at the ceiling. They started to play. I thought for sure they were going to do an instrumental and was surprised when Sara lowered her fiddle and started to sing. My wonderment peaked as her beautiful, lilting voice rang out in the quiet auditorium. I was carried through to the end with my mouth open in awe. It was one of the many times when music left me with the desire to hold myself. I felt as though I needed to keep my heart from flying away. As they sang and played the lights slowly lowered from pointing up to at the audience. Slowly swallowing Sara, Sean, Chris and the bassist in the light until it completely engulfed them. The last few notes rang out and the lights faded to black. There was a moment of silence where I heard a man a row behind me whisper what was on my mind. A simple, "wow." At that moment I knew I wasn't alone in being haunted by that performance.

The show was incredible. Funny, entertaining and filled with the stirrings that make music seem human. I had butterflies in my stomach throughout the show and loved every minute of it. Even the heckler because we were laughing at his expense at the end. (Something I completely condone when someone is senselessly rude to performers and fellow audience members.) Nickel Creek. I'd go to another of their shows in a heartbeat as my wild cheering annotated as they bowed.

You make being a fan worth my while

Fan art from DannyFanthomFreek

It is back. Well it never really went away with the creator posting weekly videos. I dwell on it year round. At the moment I am fangirling so hard that I'm finding it difficult to get coherent sentences together. Basically big rush of emotions.

Except for tears. No crying. Crying is lame. That is when I do it, anyway.

Platoon of Power Squadron

YouTube has given me many great things. From the ability to find the nomads to showing me other people get as excited about things I do, all of it has been gifted to me and for that I am grateful. My favorite is hands down PoPS.

Of the creators, Jake Jarvi is a man that I feel I can look up to. It seems silly as I've never met this man in person. In my eyes he is incredibly good at seeing what it is that he wants out of his life and finding ways to get to it. When he takes on projects I find myself rooting for him as though he were related to me. I can't even remember the last time I've wanted something for a family member as much as I want things to come together for him.

PoPS is this funny, quirky nugget of happiness that I came across over a year ago. It's a show about modern day vicenarians who are trying to live their lives. Oh, and they have super powers. It's hilarious and dark with plot twists and crazy special effect. It even manages to tell two stories, one of the characters and one of the creators. But why am I gushing?

I don't know what it is. I guess I'm speaking from the part of me that seeks acknowledgement. It could just be that I finally feel appreciated, but even that doesn't sound quite right. Tonight was a live show put on by the for main characters of the show. I made sure I didn't miss it. I've mentioned before that a reason I love YouTube is that it allows me to interact with the content creators. I've been having conversations in the comments of videos with Jarvi for months now. I've sought him out on Facebook to get a question answered, not been replied to only to get what I was looking for when I thought I was forgotten. He's taken time out of his day to throw words of encouragement and understanding my way when, simply put, he didn't have to.

I've tried to send him encouragement when he feels that his work is going unnoticed. While I feel that any message I send is a drop in the bucket, it feels good to know that some of it is being seen. For some reason I seem to doubt people's deductive reasoning abilities. I've messaged this guy on his YouTube page, on Facebook and had conversations with him on Twitter. I don't have consistent branding so every profile is different. Although all of the profiles have pictures of my face, it never occurred to be that he'd know it was the same me coming at him from all the different mediums. Tonight let me know that he did know. In the live show he made note of my participation in his fan base. Eliza, his wife, let me know that I wasn't this obscure nothing. Sitting there and having her talk as though my name is ubiquitous throughout the fans of PoPS has me smiling from ear to ear.

From being told that my reaction to the possible cessation of the updates saved the updates to being remembered when I requested the buttons during the fundraiser, I've been given little snippets of how he notices I'm here. Tonight's show made me feel as though I am actually having a conversation with him. I'm not just throwing things out into the void of the internet. He's on the other end of the signal and he and his wife are actually paying attention. I am so thankful.

I'll be sad for it to end but I am so glad I'm getting to experience it now.

Oh yeah, did I do a concert or two?

I said I'd elaborate on why the Monumentour wasn't a complete waste of money. Well it's wasn't a waste of money at all. It was freaking awesome and even with things seeming to only work against my enjoyment, enjoyment was had.

I went to the show, showing up before it began despite coming from the other side of the metroplex in rush hour. Fortunately, living here allowed for me to root out a way that avoided all of the show traffic. I had easy comings and goings. So I get there and, well... let's talk about the goings on surrounding as well as this show.

I drove in not facing any traffic. Looking off to the distance I could see a hell of a storm rolling in. Being the pluviophile, it only added to the electric energy I was feeling about the show. I got to the venue and was happy to realize that I'd missed the memo that parking was included with the price of the ticket. Upon getting into the venue I find the news of Paramore cancelling their set. Complete honesty I was so bummed I was a bit angry. They were, after all, the reason I bought the tickets to the show. Fortunately I had decided to familiarize myself with Fall Out Boy's latest album. At this point my love for live music had me completely stoked to see them as well.

My preoccupation with Paramore cancelling and my seat under the overhang allowed me to forget about that beautiful storm that was rolling in. Guess what? It rolled on in. Before either of the sets began a cheer started from the left side of the covered seating. I, sitting on the right, was clueless as to what was going on for a moment. The cheering got louder. I turn around to see a curtain of rain sweeping over everyone with lawn seats.

Look at those clouds.

It was in pretty intense. A good chunk of the lawn audience flooded the aisles seeking cover, where they stayed through the New Politics set. The rain didn't completely let up until well into FOB set. With the rain came lightning which caused the surge that cut the audio from the wolfers. New Politics, realizing that their set wasn't reaching much of the crowd, stopped and apologetically left the stage. For thirty minutes we waited for them to reboot. Reboot they did and NP came back and finished their set. Then the wait began again.

An additional thirty minutes of wandering...

what's behind the curtain?

It did eventually fall and boy was it sweet. These men came to play.

They took up the slack left by the poor disease ridden Hayley. The set up was quite elaborate. There were five monitors the were flying in and out as the songs changed. A platform set up with hydraulics for entrances. The four guys took the stage coming out of the platform and took no time jumping straight into the set.

Enter my ability to gush. The show was extraordinary. There was a so much chemistry between the guys. Every part of the stage gave you a little nugget to feast your eyes on. I looked up at one point and Pete and Joe had their heads together feeding off each other while they played. Patrick has this wonderful habit of rocking back and forth when he sings. There was even a point when Patrick totally missed a note just as the footage of Andy drumming was streaming. The look on Andy's face as he assessed what was going on was great. As was his expression when he decided to dismiss it and get on with his drumming. Not that he missed a beat.

Not being a die hard fan of Fall Out Boy allowed for me to be surprised by the artistry of the band. Listening to Pete play a part that showcased what can be done with a bass guitar was excited. (Good thing he's a song writer and all that.) Watching Andy play the drums as though the set was an extension of his body was dope. Patrick did not disappoint. He sang both his and Elton John's part of Save Rock and Roll. Which for some reason I thought would be done in the same key he seemed to be singing everything else. I was wrong.

I found that he can play guitar, piano, and (most surprising) the drums.

What's that? The best shot I was willing to get without forgetting to experience the show I was attending IRL. Andy and Pete feature the rhythm section.

Musicians that don't stop always give me butterflies. These guys aren't content with a desultory job.

My favorite moment came when the lights were cut low and the audience was reminded that we all had cell phones. Without any further prompting needed we pulled them out and had a moment from the 70s using our modern lighters to show participation and light the stage. Fall Out Boy performed the song to the light of our cell phone flashbulbs while we waved them back and forth. It was incredible.

I know I went to that show expecting to hear The Only Exception and Ain't it Fun but I can't imagine it being a better show. Fall Out Boy came and played an awe inspiring show. They had flash, pyrotechnics and the usual smoke to catch the light beams. They even threw a little distraction and managed to walk through the crowd while I was being told to look elsewhere. That show had me leaving the venue only to play their CD in the car on the way home. I would go see them again in a heartbeat. I am so happy I got to see that show.

Keep the music coming.

Long weekends that aren't long seem to be a staple in my life. C'est le vie.

I am planning on going to another two concerts over the next few months. I finally gave in to my desire to see Arctic Monkeys and the Black Keys live. I'm excited about this. Instead of a summer of live music I've extended it to include the fall and winter. I'm still getting butterflies. Only down side is that going with people, which I am for both of these, I'll have to deal with them not being quite as excited as I am. The plus side is that I'll be going to see Arctic Monkeys and the Black Keys.

So. Stoked.