Rules for Survival

1) Don't be a creep, it's not nice

2) If you happen to not follow rule number 1 and you are a creep realize that if they start laughing at you... Beware! Chances are they know something you don't. Usually it's something that would hurt more to understand than to remain ignorant of.

Diary of a disgruntled sales rep

I hate children. Any child that I am exposed to for a prolonged period of time will, eventually, end up irritating me. Related or not. They all remind me at some point that I hate children. Generally it is those that are predisposed to misbehave that really get my goat. I've recently come to the conclusion, though, that majority of the reasons that I dislike children can be traced back to their parents' lack of parenting skills.

I work in a store that specializes in clothing private school students. It isn't an ideal job for me for the reasons that I have stated above. I try my hardest to deal with the parents and hope that they will put forth the effort to keep their child from acting like a complete imp. This, I know, is not the best way for me to complete the tasks in my job description. However, I find that there isn't any point of me trying to keep a child in line when the parents are acting as if their miniature demons cannot do any wrong. So for those out there who are a complete boob when it comes to parenting here is a list of ways to cause the sales representative to really hate you and your child.

• Do not stare at your child and do nothing while they pull items off the racks. That is generally a grand time for you to step to the parenting plate and pitch a few in-store behavior guidelines.
• Watch your child. I can assure you that it is not entertaining in the least for you to stand in one spot and yell your child's name several times to make sure they are still in the store every couple minutes. I can also assure you that when you start to call your child's name and I know who you are talking about and can point you in the right direction. that is not a good thing.
  
• Do not allow your child to climb on the sales rack. If you are not doing the previous point, by all means stop them once you find them. It shouldn't take a story of some child being decapitated by the same apparatus that your child is currently playing of to get you to say "get down."
  
• In the case of uniforms, do not stop every 20 seconds to ask your child's opinion. It's a school uniform, everyone at the school has to where it. Make sure it fits, buy it, and then tell said child to get over it.
• Do not reward bad behavior. When a child does something they shouldn't and you smile at them or comment on how cute that is, that let's them know that what they are doing is ok. It's not. When a few years pass and you're trying to figure out why this brat is out of control, refer yourself to the trips to the store as part of the beginning of the problem.
• Do not give your child my displays as toys. My items are not there for your child's destructive pleasure. Chances are your kid has more than enough crap at home to amuse their shortsighted minds. Bring one of those with you when you go out so that I'm not having to mend what they break.
• My office supplies are also not your child's toys. If you would rather not have a child write of something, don't hand them a pen just because they whine for it.
• Do not use my store as a Tumblin Tots gym. Teach your child that there are certain activities that are acceptable in a store and ones that are acceptable on a playground only.
• Clean up the mess your child makes. It is my job to maintain a clean sales floor, yes. It is not my job to play maid for your misbehaving, over-indulged, poorly managed brat. You are not giving me a job by allowing your me to clean the mess your child has made of my store. You are making my job harder and me bitter.
• Finally, if you want to avoid your child throwing a fit when you tell them no, tell the no and stand by your no on a regular basis.
  

In short, I hate your children. If any of the aforementioned points has stepped on your toes, I hate your children specifically. And also, I hate you for not teaching your children and giving me reason to hate them. Your children are going to grow up to be a pompous creeps and it will be your fault. All of it will be your fault.