Diary of a disgruntled sales rep

I hate children. Any child that I am exposed to for a prolonged period of time will, eventually, end up irritating me. Related or not. They all remind me at some point that I hate children. Generally it is those that are predisposed to misbehave that really get my goat. I've recently come to the conclusion, though, that majority of the reasons that I dislike children can be traced back to their parents' lack of parenting skills.

I work in a store that specializes in clothing private school students. It isn't an ideal job for me for the reasons that I have stated above. I try my hardest to deal with the parents and hope that they will put forth the effort to keep their child from acting like a complete imp. This, I know, is not the best way for me to complete the tasks in my job description. However, I find that there isn't any point of me trying to keep a child in line when the parents are acting as if their miniature demons cannot do any wrong. So for those out there who are a complete boob when it comes to parenting here is a list of ways to cause the sales representative to really hate you and your child.

• Do not stare at your child and do nothing while they pull items off the racks. That is generally a grand time for you to step to the parenting plate and pitch a few in-store behavior guidelines.
• Watch your child. I can assure you that it is not entertaining in the least for you to stand in one spot and yell your child's name several times to make sure they are still in the store every couple minutes. I can also assure you that when you start to call your child's name and I know who you are talking about and can point you in the right direction. that is not a good thing.
  
• Do not allow your child to climb on the sales rack. If you are not doing the previous point, by all means stop them once you find them. It shouldn't take a story of some child being decapitated by the same apparatus that your child is currently playing of to get you to say "get down."
  
• In the case of uniforms, do not stop every 20 seconds to ask your child's opinion. It's a school uniform, everyone at the school has to where it. Make sure it fits, buy it, and then tell said child to get over it.
• Do not reward bad behavior. When a child does something they shouldn't and you smile at them or comment on how cute that is, that let's them know that what they are doing is ok. It's not. When a few years pass and you're trying to figure out why this brat is out of control, refer yourself to the trips to the store as part of the beginning of the problem.
• Do not give your child my displays as toys. My items are not there for your child's destructive pleasure. Chances are your kid has more than enough crap at home to amuse their shortsighted minds. Bring one of those with you when you go out so that I'm not having to mend what they break.
• My office supplies are also not your child's toys. If you would rather not have a child write of something, don't hand them a pen just because they whine for it.
• Do not use my store as a Tumblin Tots gym. Teach your child that there are certain activities that are acceptable in a store and ones that are acceptable on a playground only.
• Clean up the mess your child makes. It is my job to maintain a clean sales floor, yes. It is not my job to play maid for your misbehaving, over-indulged, poorly managed brat. You are not giving me a job by allowing your me to clean the mess your child has made of my store. You are making my job harder and me bitter.
• Finally, if you want to avoid your child throwing a fit when you tell them no, tell the no and stand by your no on a regular basis.
  

In short, I hate your children. If any of the aforementioned points has stepped on your toes, I hate your children specifically. And also, I hate you for not teaching your children and giving me reason to hate them. Your children are going to grow up to be a pompous creeps and it will be your fault. All of it will be your fault.

Don't blame me.

I am into Pin-Up art. I love the artistry of the many artist. I love the fluidity of the body movement captured by oil paints on canvas. I love the life placed into the drawings. I love the story and evolution of the iconic pin-up girls, from the Armstrong girl to the Vargas girl. I love Pin-Up. The sexuality of it. The blithe and seemingly lithe qualities of it. I love the art of it. I know from experience that to deny the sexuality of it will turn me into the the-girl-who-denies-to-much. I also know that with the title "Pin-Up" comes the understanding of what some consider soft-core porn. That is not my problem.

Over the years Pin-Up has fascinated me. I couldn't truly tell you why without making myself look or feel bad. With everybody trying to place me under certain labels it was hard for me to stand by and express myself freely. Now that I have delved into the history of the art I find myself facing further scrutiny. Everyone has an opinion on everything. That doesn't bother me until I feel trapped. If I throw something in your face that you don't agree with it is your right to let me know.

Situation: I got a new book on the art of Gil Elvgren. I brought it to work. This book is believed to have 98% of his art compiled together. I took the dust jacket off to avoid and issues about the risqué art on the cover. The book without the dust jacket is black with only the title. I had someone take it upon themselves to open the book and flip through the pages. There was no time for me to explain what it was. There wasn't even time for me to warn about the nudity. They flipped through the book stopping to look at the nudes and giving their opinion. I later was given a talk about how in the future I shouldn't have that book or ones similar to it with me. Someone could take offense and report me.

Reflection: You took it upon yourself to peruse my private property. If you had left my things alone or looked only instead of touched, you wouldn't have known about the racier content (for the book was closed). This is not my fault. You cannot chastise me for something that you took upon yourself to indulge in without invitation. I feel that the advice that was given me was not earned. Instead I shall return the favor: in the future, do not take it upon yourself to go through things that do not concern you. If it isn't yours, leave it alone.

Situation: In the event of needing somewhere to send my items bought online, I have it sent to a friend's house who also happens to be the host of my weekly bible study. The person whose house it is does not mind the art. In fact her only request is that it is not flaunted in front for her son. As much I understand. My sole appreciation of the art of Pin-Up does not fall in the nudes. It is not my mission to sway the steadfast beliefs of the men of that house. Or even to trip them up. This is not for them, it's for me. I recently had two more books sent to their house. I left them both sitting on the the table where I'd removed them from their packaging. One of the other guest saw them, chose to pick up the book titled 1000 Pin-Up Girls, flip through it and cause herself to become angry. I then received a stern talking to about the objectification of women. How these images were all there to give men a happy thought to masturbate to. How it belittled the motivation behind WWII and Vietnam war because the pin-up girls was chosen as a mascot of many troops and plastered on planes. Every argument I had was shot down. This person happens to be apart of a coalition to get women out of the terrible ring of prostitution. As much I was aware. She hates everything that stems the thought that the only thing that a woman can offer a man has to do with sex. That is an amazing thing to stand by. She has placed herself above all things that objectify women. She feels that the only image a Pin-Up girl can give is a sexual one. And yet, she still took it upon herself to open the book that clearly labeled itself for what it was. A walk through the top 1000 pin-up girls.

Reflection: You hate things that objectify women. You see something lying there that has every clue that it will go down an alley that you do not agree with. Do you leave it alone because it isn't yours? No, you take it upon yourself to start finding where you should point the blame. You then choose to not only, point premeditated fingers but to pick up the book to confirm if it is as awful as the title preludes. When it is, you are hyped up and ready to fight. I am thankful for the words of the young man originally accused for owning my books. After the person expressed the continued fact that the women are objectified by men, he states that some women chose to allow themselves to be objectified so the blame isn't all on men. I then remember words from a favorite movie of mine. "Since when is women simply a helpless animal?" We have just as much control over our lives as men do. Just because there are some that are lost in the thought that they are not worth anything, doesn't mean we are all confused about where we stand in the world. She hates that the book was about women selling they're body images, but she took it upon herself to look at the images. I did not shove it in her face. I merely forgot to put it away. If she feels so strongly about it, she should have left it alone. Do not rebuke me for having a part in the process of teaching girls that sex is their only image. Do not take it upon yourself to go through things that do not concern you. You looked at the book, took in it's title and immediately started forming your negative opinions on the subject. Then you got mad that the images in the book followed suit to what the term Pin-Up means to you. Don't get mad at me because you can't let sleeping dogs lie. If it bothers you so much, then by all means don't partake in it in any fashion. That means don't look at it, don't touch it, don't give yourself reason to talk about it. Translation: don't look at my books, don't touch them, don't fuss at me because you can't leave well enough alone.

Why do people feel the need to touch and remark. It isn't yours. Leave it alone. Leave me alone, unless I deserve it by shoving it in your face when you do not agree. If you can't handle it, keep your opinions to yourself. No one's asking you to undergo this great ordeal. If you want nothing to do with it...by all means LEAVE. IT. ALONE.

simple, silver circle

To many people it's just a ring. A ring that I wear everyday, without fail. A ring that I have worn since I was a sophomore in high school. Not in the least bit ornate, just a silver ring.

To me however it is a promise. A promise made before God, the witnesses in the church, and my family and friends. A promise that I will treat my fellow women with the utmost respect, that I will hold fast to greater virtues than my fellow man, and that I will abstain from sexual intercourse until I am married.

Any promise made comes with a cost. For in promising the last I made a vow to live my life alone and only pass through the most trivial of relationships. I made a promise that barred me against finding what I want because no one abstains from sex when they can find it anywhere. When 199 out of 200 girls are saying yes why waste time with the ones who are saying no? I heard of studies that say marriages where the people waited until after there vows to have sex usually end in affairs so the people can see what else is out there. A person can't even be said to have a friend of the opposite sex without people claiming that they are sexually active with one another. In a world where it is so common, how can a girl find someone who will rise above the rest.

You never see someone change their disposition so quickly as when you tell them no. I've had men ask me to go get a room after knowing me for twenty minutes. I've been propositioned twice without having even exposed myself. I've had a pending realtionship die in twleve hours. I've even had a guy congratulate me for my commitment one moment just to try to talk me out of it the next. But why would I want any of them to begin with? Why would I even bother to long for a man who has no respect for me? I don't. My anger comes from it constantly being the same problem. From being perceived as piece of meat and not getting any respect becaue so many women prior to me have allowed him to believe that this is the way it should be.

• I'm tired of living in a world where a guy get a pat on the back for disrespecting girl after girl.


• I'm tired of living in a world where women are the only ones held accountable for the amount of people with whom they had sex.


• I'm facing the fact that because I refuse to put myself out there that most men won't bother to waste their time with me.


• I'm facing the fact that since sex is the key to a good relationship in this world that the men who do bother with me won't stick around for long.

I'm trying to cope with being and staying alone, because even though I feel the full weight of this small, silver ring on my left hand I won't rescind my promise.

eventually the mask has to come off

So, there is this girl who decides to have a hymenoplasty, not because she wants to restore herself due to some back sliding she did in college. This really irks me. This girl is a "Western woman" of her own making. Raised under strict Muslim teachings in Birmingham, she lived her life without a backbone. Chopping up everything that she did to "all my friends were doing it...it was entirely accepted." Yeah, entirely accepted in the world of girls who have flings without thinking about the consequences. She takes birth control, becomes "sexually empowered" and sleeps with her boyfriends and some random guy from a party. All the while everytime she goes home she "plays" the devout muslim daughter for her parents. Praying five times a day, not listening to music, wearing her veil. She feels oppressed when she is in her parents presence. So, in the end she decides to agree to an arranged marrige to a Muslim in Pakistan? Why is that a good idea? She says that to do this is to be with a man who has the same beliefs as she does. No, it isn't. If she believed in the Muslim teachings so much she wouldn't be in the situation of having to recreate her hymen. She is doing this for all the wrong reasons. She has changed, not just strayed from her dad's teachings. She is a western woman. Living in the secular world and loving it. She says that she does not what to be "ostracized" from her family. She has already put a barrier there. She lied about her living situation for two years. She lived with her boyfriend, yeah boyfriend, no thoughts of marriage (which is against her strict Muslim upbringing). She stopped wearing her hijab, she was drinking, smoking, and sleeping around. All of this done with her hoping her parents don't find out. The only things that I can see for her future is her either abandoning her family to go back to her "western" ways or her killing herself to escape the oppression.

I am not knocking the Muslim world. I am not complaining about the male dominance. I am saying that she is chosing the wrong path. She needs to bone up and live her life the way she wants to. The Muslim teachings are not her beliefs. The only time that she claims them as her own is when she considers the pros of the marriage. All the other times she is "play[ing]" a role. What happens if her husband--who met her under the impression that she has not strayed from her beliefs--figures out a fraction of what she was into in college? She fears that her family could kill her if she doesn't bleed (honour killings are still justified), she could still end up dead at her husband's hand. You can't hide who you have become forever. Sooner or later every skeleton in her closet is going to be discovered.