As if my body was afraid that I would run out of things to talk about, it, activated by my brain no doubt, broke out in hives yesterday. So who has two thumbs and spent 5 hours in the doctor? This girl.
Nothing is wrong with me of course. It's just that when you have a random rash that starts on one leg, jumps to the opposite then proceeds to spread up the back of both legs, jumps to the arms and solitary hand, you want a professional's opinion. It just kept spreading. Even after five hours, the doctor's visit and steroid shot I was still watching get bigger. That was when I said screw the doc's treatment and just went to the OTC. I had a diphenhydramine and proceeded to sleep it off. Hence the late entry and my failure.
What's ridiculous about this day is that I planned on writing this up at 5 pm when I got home. I turned on my computer and was waiting for it to warm up when I conked out and was dead to the world. So this is considered my January third entry and I will contribute later to January 4th.
Before going to bed I was teeming with many different rants about the medicine industry. I backtracked about putting that in written word when I remembered others that I care about and realized ultimately that doctors are wonderful people. They study long and hard to have to tell people what they don't want to hear. They get a bad reputation for other doctors carelessly euphanizing someone's aunt improperly. In my case, I don't quite feel that they are useless. I do, however, feel that I have neither enough money nor problems big enough for them to do anything of consequence without me leaving with an elevated level of irritation. As I type now I'm feeling a resurgence of my rash and becoming even more irritated. A couple hundred dollars just for it to come back in a few hours. I don't know what is setting it off and still, apparently, don't know how to treat it.
The longer I think about this the more frustrated I become. So my solution for myself is that I am going to stop thinking about this and go back to sleep. Hopefully I don't wake up covered in red splotches and welts. I'll know when I wake. At this rate, let us pray that I can still breathe in the morning as my right knee is itching again and that's where all of this started yesterday. To bed with me.
Saturday, January 4, 2014
Thursday, January 2, 2014
What do I talk about for a year?
As I've mentioned in a previous blog, I like to do new things. This year I would like to blog everyday in 2014. I've had this account for six years and I only have 54 entries (and all of those aren't even public). That is an average of 9 entries a year. That is pathetic. I like to write. I like participating in narratives, whether it is making them up or reading them. Considering the wide range of things that I read, I'm down for just about any thought process. Of course a year's worth of writing had me thinking about what I would write about. In the end it boils down to me.
My problem is that I tend to spend a lot of time complaining about things. I find that I'm a bit more self conscious about doing so in writing. Not to say that I don't do complain via statuses and journal entries. Just that after a while I get tired of myself always having a moan about everything when few things are truly wrong. Now I'm not claiming that everything that will come out of me this year will be positive or decorated rainbows and sunshine. I'm just hoping that I may be able to find more pleasant things in my life to talk about.
I may need a point system. See in the end if I spend more time whinging that I do praising the world around me. I already have a feeling about what will win. While it seems that I am shaping this year to be only looking at the bright side and ignoring my irritations, no. It wouldn't be me if that was all you got. I happen to be very good at ranting. A lot of things bug me for a LOT of different reasons. I am very passionate and I have no problem expressing that. Basically this will be me being a slightly more irritable than normal human feeling emotions.
I make no promises that things won't get a bit sparse at times or that I won't post more than a couple of 10 reasons I'm grateful entries. I won't even promise a decent length for every entry because, well, I know me. However, I am deciding to have something up everyday. Here goes nothing.
My problem is that I tend to spend a lot of time complaining about things. I find that I'm a bit more self conscious about doing so in writing. Not to say that I don't do complain via statuses and journal entries. Just that after a while I get tired of myself always having a moan about everything when few things are truly wrong. Now I'm not claiming that everything that will come out of me this year will be positive or decorated rainbows and sunshine. I'm just hoping that I may be able to find more pleasant things in my life to talk about.
I may need a point system. See in the end if I spend more time whinging that I do praising the world around me. I already have a feeling about what will win. While it seems that I am shaping this year to be only looking at the bright side and ignoring my irritations, no. It wouldn't be me if that was all you got. I happen to be very good at ranting. A lot of things bug me for a LOT of different reasons. I am very passionate and I have no problem expressing that. Basically this will be me being a slightly more irritable than normal human feeling emotions.
I make no promises that things won't get a bit sparse at times or that I won't post more than a couple of 10 reasons I'm grateful entries. I won't even promise a decent length for every entry because, well, I know me. However, I am deciding to have something up everyday. Here goes nothing.
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
Welcome to the New Year!
How about a moment of reflection to see exactly what I was thinking. Sound good? Okay, let's go.
I have a project for this year. I have a project for every year. I've mentioned this before so I digress. It's time for the big reveal now that the dawning of the new year has happened. I want to take on the internet. What?
With my recent obsession with the little known site YouTube, I have decided to post videos on a regular basis. I have also decided to get into the wonderful world of documenting my thoughts in long, drawn-out prose. I want to post a blog, a blog that will have no rhyme or reason or relation to anything other than my peculiar thought processes, daily. As in everyday. So why are we supposed to be reflecting on what I possibly could have been thinking?
Enter my computer.
I am not that into having the latest electronics. I rebelled against CDs when they first came out. )Cassettes were just fine.) When that passed, I made myself believe that mp3 players were unnecessary, because who doesn't want to run around with a backpack full of CDs in order to have variety when listening to their portable CD player? My television still has tubes. I held onto my cellphone for so long that by the time I upgraded it, which was necessary if I wanted to push a button without it spazzing and turning off, the cellular device saleslady (that's right, her job is to know phones) didn't recognize my Blackberry Pearl at all. Before her time, I guess. That being said it won't surprise you to know that I bought my Compaq Presario C500 in 2007.
Yeah.... I have gotten it into my head that I want to record footage, import it to my 6+ year old computer, try to edit it and see if I can get it to upload. I believe my foolishness is starting to show. This may end all of my grand schemes of editing. It very well may be a year of videos that are continuous shots and drawn out soliloquies. I apologize in advance, or I would if anyone would be watching. We also cannot forget that with the blogging, my computer takes about 30 to 45 minutes to warm up. Yeah. Warm up. Like an ancient radio. It needs to consider how much it likes me for the better part of an hour so I can click on something and not have it take 5 minutes to respond. What was I thinking, indeed.
I will charge into this year and not look back. My devices and I may or may not make it, but only time will tell. So, as I sit here finishing off a one pound Snickers bar, I'll consider how some of my bad choices were completely worth it.
Happy New Year.
I have a project for this year. I have a project for every year. I've mentioned this before so I digress. It's time for the big reveal now that the dawning of the new year has happened. I want to take on the internet. What?
With my recent obsession with the little known site YouTube, I have decided to post videos on a regular basis. I have also decided to get into the wonderful world of documenting my thoughts in long, drawn-out prose. I want to post a blog, a blog that will have no rhyme or reason or relation to anything other than my peculiar thought processes, daily. As in everyday. So why are we supposed to be reflecting on what I possibly could have been thinking?
Enter my computer.
I am not that into having the latest electronics. I rebelled against CDs when they first came out. )Cassettes were just fine.) When that passed, I made myself believe that mp3 players were unnecessary, because who doesn't want to run around with a backpack full of CDs in order to have variety when listening to their portable CD player? My television still has tubes. I held onto my cellphone for so long that by the time I upgraded it, which was necessary if I wanted to push a button without it spazzing and turning off, the cellular device saleslady (that's right, her job is to know phones) didn't recognize my Blackberry Pearl at all. Before her time, I guess. That being said it won't surprise you to know that I bought my Compaq Presario C500 in 2007.
Yeah.... I have gotten it into my head that I want to record footage, import it to my 6+ year old computer, try to edit it and see if I can get it to upload. I believe my foolishness is starting to show. This may end all of my grand schemes of editing. It very well may be a year of videos that are continuous shots and drawn out soliloquies. I apologize in advance, or I would if anyone would be watching. We also cannot forget that with the blogging, my computer takes about 30 to 45 minutes to warm up. Yeah. Warm up. Like an ancient radio. It needs to consider how much it likes me for the better part of an hour so I can click on something and not have it take 5 minutes to respond. What was I thinking, indeed.
I will charge into this year and not look back. My devices and I may or may not make it, but only time will tell. So, as I sit here finishing off a one pound Snickers bar, I'll consider how some of my bad choices were completely worth it.
Happy New Year.
Monday, September 30, 2013
The itch is setting in
It's that time of the year again. That time when I look around and realize that as the year is ending the time to try the new things is dawning. When years come to a close, I always find myself with an itch to try or do something that I don't usually do. I don't know why. I just do.
Let's get one thing straight: I don't like calling them New Year's resolutions. I don't care for making resolutions. I also never keep resolutions when I make them. Never keeping them makes it absolutely true that they are a waste of time. Plus I don't like telling people my resolutions when I make them because it just adds to the guarantee that I won't keep it. Which would mean on top of failure then I'll have people shaming me for not finishing what I've started. (In hindsight, I can only remember being shamed once, but it put a bad taste in my mouth for all resolutions ever.) I just don't make resolutions.
Anyway, back to my point. I try new things. What I love about trying these year long projects (for lack of a better word) is the feeling I get from the planning process. These things really are daunting to me. I get butterflies in my stomach and the jitters as I nail down the specs for the year. It makes me look forward to a new year of exciting things and new accomplishments. I don't always succeed at what I set out to do but having tried in the first place makes me feel all the better.
I've been wondering about my next project. Trying to decide on something simply because it's what I do. I was trying to force it. That doesn't work for me. I have to wait for it to come to me. Today it did. I'm still in the middle of nailing down the specifics. Which means that I am extremely extremely excited. This always makes me anxious for the start of the new year. Now I can't wait.
Let's get one thing straight: I don't like calling them New Year's resolutions. I don't care for making resolutions. I also never keep resolutions when I make them. Never keeping them makes it absolutely true that they are a waste of time. Plus I don't like telling people my resolutions when I make them because it just adds to the guarantee that I won't keep it. Which would mean on top of failure then I'll have people shaming me for not finishing what I've started. (In hindsight, I can only remember being shamed once, but it put a bad taste in my mouth for all resolutions ever.) I just don't make resolutions.
Anyway, back to my point. I try new things. What I love about trying these year long projects (for lack of a better word) is the feeling I get from the planning process. These things really are daunting to me. I get butterflies in my stomach and the jitters as I nail down the specs for the year. It makes me look forward to a new year of exciting things and new accomplishments. I don't always succeed at what I set out to do but having tried in the first place makes me feel all the better.
I've been wondering about my next project. Trying to decide on something simply because it's what I do. I was trying to force it. That doesn't work for me. I have to wait for it to come to me. Today it did. I'm still in the middle of nailing down the specifics. Which means that I am extremely extremely excited. This always makes me anxious for the start of the new year. Now I can't wait.
Friday, September 27, 2013
Grateful pick me up
1. Healthy Family
Despite the blow my family has taken in the last year we are currently going on a streak of no ailments. While we may not be happy all of the time, at least our health is not an issue.
The freedom to get where I need or would like to be is a wonderful thing. It's something that has taught me responsibility and time management. The latter is a really great thing to learn.
3. That I have jobs
I love things. I need money in order to get the things. It's nice to have a way to earn money that will allow me to get the things I want.
4. Not oversleeping to a detrimental extent
I'm doing a lot right now and am not always sleeping as I should. Getting out of bed gets really hard (for the record: I don't like to get out of bed when I'm well rested and sleep deprivation does not help). I'm just happy that it hasn't been so hard that I've missed an appointment.
5. Enough to pay my bills.
Once again, I like things and I'm glad to not have incurred more bills than money to pay them.
Platoon of Power Squadron! I love this show. It makes me happy. Check it out.
7. Youtubers/Youtube
This is one of the things that ties into reason 9. I love the content. Other people's ideas and lives of which they are allowing me to catch glimpses. I'm thankful that Youtube provides an outlet for individuals to share these items.
8. Friends
Having people around to do everything from laugh to cry or whisper to yell and everything in between is just something that is a wonderful thing to have. I appreciate my friends.
9. Reasons to laugh
Laughing is my all time favorite thing to do, so having reasons to do so is a blessing and I love and appreciate all of them.
10. Music
What better way is there to express yourself, memorize things, dance, and relax than music? There isn't.
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
Floundering
Maybe it's just that I feel overwhelmed. Maybe I'm just confused. I'm not sure. All I can say is that I don't want to do it alone. I desperately want for some one to hold my hand. I want them to tell me what to do. I want them to walk me through it all the while telling me that everything is going to be okay.
But I can't have that.
No one is going to get me through this but me.
My fear is not knowing how to avoid giving into my fears that cause me to fail. My hang-ups are not being able to see even a glimmer of a path to my future happiness. My pathetic desires are to be able to stay in bed under the covers until the process is done and everything is perfect.
I know I'm full of excuses. I know my desires of not wanting to move forward until I can see the complete path are foolish. I'm scared, of life, or living. I don't know. I just know I'm terrified. I'm someone who was supposed to have it figured out and I keep coming up with blanks. "So smart," yet I can't figure out how to stop wasting it. I just. Don't. Know. What. To do. I don't know.
But I can't have that.
No one is going to get me through this but me.
My fear is not knowing how to avoid giving into my fears that cause me to fail. My hang-ups are not being able to see even a glimmer of a path to my future happiness. My pathetic desires are to be able to stay in bed under the covers until the process is done and everything is perfect.
I know I'm full of excuses. I know my desires of not wanting to move forward until I can see the complete path are foolish. I'm scared, of life, or living. I don't know. I just know I'm terrified. I'm someone who was supposed to have it figured out and I keep coming up with blanks. "So smart," yet I can't figure out how to stop wasting it. I just. Don't. Know. What. To do. I don't know.
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
I love the internet... Youtube specifically
I have finally started to use Youtube for what it was created for. Discovering people who are expressing themselves. I think I am bordering a new obsession. (The thought occurs to me that I "obsess" about everything, which would make it hardly an obsession at all. It is, in fact, just another thing that I like, but I digress.) I am six years behind my good friend Thomas who discovered Nerdfighteria in 2007. He allowed me to catch a glimpse of it by getting me to read An Abundance of Katherines by John Green. Now I'm rambling. Let's see if I can regroup.
Vlog brothers are awesome. John Green, an author that I seriously need to rediscover (having only read one of his books and loving it), and his brother Hank Green, the witty and wonderfully intelligent human being with opinions about everything, are two guys who make up one of several new subscriptions that are causing my latest bouts of sleep deprivation. I was thrown into their universe (though it's more like I realized they were in my universe as they still don't know I exist) when a friend my mine did me a huge favor. So let us take a detour down Back Story alley. Are you ready? Here we go:
One night, whilst hanging around a frozen yogurt place with two of my guy friends, I was having one the usual off-the-wall conversations that enlightens my existence. We were talking about advertising, of all things, as the Green brothers hate advertising. It was mentioned that Dove did a commercial about different women's self image. The next day Dave found an entry about how a girl was really upset with the false "everyone is more beautiful than they think" message that Dove was sending. In her diatribe of how the images of the women were all the same white, blonde types (aside from one or two that weren't really showcased) she included a link to a video that would Rock. My. World.
Enter Hank Green. To be completely honest I can't entirely remember how he was tied into the writer's message. Probably something to do with the how advertising is not nearly as true to their word as they try to make us believe. Hank has a video that discusses how all the different branches of ads with their different, opposing messages are owned by the same major labels. It was one of many *rants* (please find a better word for this) that I will spend hours watching in Youtube. What's better, as they started this with a project in 2007, I may never catch up. It seems endless and I love it.
Then, of course, John cannot be forgotten. He is, after all, the older brother and the author that I didn't know I knew about. It took me several videos before I realized that John was THE John. The Mastermind behind An Abundance of Katherines. Talk about incredible. Hearing that the voice behind something that I've allowed to shape my mind is actually worth listening to in that he is extremely well-versed in the ways of the world. Now back to the present.
These two men make up a scintillating duo who have captured my mind in the throes* of their everyday life. They created Nerdfighteria where the fast talking, fact-slinging, genius philanthropists thrives. I truly appreciate that they made public their decision to reach out to one another. (I know that's a bit ludicrous considering that my opinion doesn't really make a difference.) From the great things they do around the world to the great quotes I could keep a journal of, I'm so happy to throw my abundant fandom at them. It's simple really, I want nothing more right now than to be able to call myself a Nerdfighter.
Vlog brothers are awesome. John Green, an author that I seriously need to rediscover (having only read one of his books and loving it), and his brother Hank Green, the witty and wonderfully intelligent human being with opinions about everything, are two guys who make up one of several new subscriptions that are causing my latest bouts of sleep deprivation. I was thrown into their universe (though it's more like I realized they were in my universe as they still don't know I exist) when a friend my mine did me a huge favor. So let us take a detour down Back Story alley. Are you ready? Here we go:
One night, whilst hanging around a frozen yogurt place with two of my guy friends, I was having one the usual off-the-wall conversations that enlightens my existence. We were talking about advertising, of all things, as the Green brothers hate advertising. It was mentioned that Dove did a commercial about different women's self image. The next day Dave found an entry about how a girl was really upset with the false "everyone is more beautiful than they think" message that Dove was sending. In her diatribe of how the images of the women were all the same white, blonde types (aside from one or two that weren't really showcased) she included a link to a video that would Rock. My. World.
Enter Hank Green. To be completely honest I can't entirely remember how he was tied into the writer's message. Probably something to do with the how advertising is not nearly as true to their word as they try to make us believe. Hank has a video that discusses how all the different branches of ads with their different, opposing messages are owned by the same major labels. It was one of many *rants* (please find a better word for this) that I will spend hours watching in Youtube. What's better, as they started this with a project in 2007, I may never catch up. It seems endless and I love it.
Then, of course, John cannot be forgotten. He is, after all, the older brother and the author that I didn't know I knew about. It took me several videos before I realized that John was THE John. The Mastermind behind An Abundance of Katherines. Talk about incredible. Hearing that the voice behind something that I've allowed to shape my mind is actually worth listening to in that he is extremely well-versed in the ways of the world. Now back to the present.
These two men make up a scintillating duo who have captured my mind in the throes* of their everyday life. They created Nerdfighteria where the fast talking, fact-slinging, genius philanthropists thrives. I truly appreciate that they made public their decision to reach out to one another. (I know that's a bit ludicrous considering that my opinion doesn't really make a difference.) From the great things they do around the world to the great quotes I could keep a journal of, I'm so happy to throw my abundant fandom at them. It's simple really, I want nothing more right now than to be able to call myself a Nerdfighter.
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