Rules for Survival

1) Don't be a creep, it's not nice

2) If you happen to not follow rule number 1 and you are a creep realize that if they start laughing at you... Beware! Chances are they know something you don't. Usually it's something that would hurt more to understand than to remain ignorant of.

Diary of a disgruntled sales rep

I hate children. Any child that I am exposed to for a prolonged period of time will, eventually, end up irritating me. Related or not. They all remind me at some point that I hate children. Generally it is those that are predisposed to misbehave that really get my goat. I've recently come to the conclusion, though, that majority of the reasons that I dislike children can be traced back to their parents' lack of parenting skills.

I work in a store that specializes in clothing private school students. It isn't an ideal job for me for the reasons that I have stated above. I try my hardest to deal with the parents and hope that they will put forth the effort to keep their child from acting like a complete imp. This, I know, is not the best way for me to complete the tasks in my job description. However, I find that there isn't any point of me trying to keep a child in line when the parents are acting as if their miniature demons cannot do any wrong. So for those out there who are a complete boob when it comes to parenting here is a list of ways to cause the sales representative to really hate you and your child.

• Do not stare at your child and do nothing while they pull items off the racks. That is generally a grand time for you to step to the parenting plate and pitch a few in-store behavior guidelines.
• Watch your child. I can assure you that it is not entertaining in the least for you to stand in one spot and yell your child's name several times to make sure they are still in the store every couple minutes. I can also assure you that when you start to call your child's name and I know who you are talking about and can point you in the right direction. that is not a good thing.
  
• Do not allow your child to climb on the sales rack. If you are not doing the previous point, by all means stop them once you find them. It shouldn't take a story of some child being decapitated by the same apparatus that your child is currently playing of to get you to say "get down."
  
• In the case of uniforms, do not stop every 20 seconds to ask your child's opinion. It's a school uniform, everyone at the school has to where it. Make sure it fits, buy it, and then tell said child to get over it.
• Do not reward bad behavior. When a child does something they shouldn't and you smile at them or comment on how cute that is, that let's them know that what they are doing is ok. It's not. When a few years pass and you're trying to figure out why this brat is out of control, refer yourself to the trips to the store as part of the beginning of the problem.
• Do not give your child my displays as toys. My items are not there for your child's destructive pleasure. Chances are your kid has more than enough crap at home to amuse their shortsighted minds. Bring one of those with you when you go out so that I'm not having to mend what they break.
• My office supplies are also not your child's toys. If you would rather not have a child write of something, don't hand them a pen just because they whine for it.
• Do not use my store as a Tumblin Tots gym. Teach your child that there are certain activities that are acceptable in a store and ones that are acceptable on a playground only.
• Clean up the mess your child makes. It is my job to maintain a clean sales floor, yes. It is not my job to play maid for your misbehaving, over-indulged, poorly managed brat. You are not giving me a job by allowing your me to clean the mess your child has made of my store. You are making my job harder and me bitter.
• Finally, if you want to avoid your child throwing a fit when you tell them no, tell the no and stand by your no on a regular basis.
  

In short, I hate your children. If any of the aforementioned points has stepped on your toes, I hate your children specifically. And also, I hate you for not teaching your children and giving me reason to hate them. Your children are going to grow up to be a pompous creeps and it will be your fault. All of it will be your fault.

More books

I contrived a reading list on at the close of December of 2008. I didn't complete it but I did add some variations to the list that I was planning on reading. Over the two years since I have put this list together (a result of my lack of control when it comes to shopping at book stores) I managed to read my way through a twenty book series and maintain my stand of not finishing the Harry Potter series until all of the movies have been screened. Below is my book list extended with the extra books I've read as well as those I am now planning to read.

THE BOOK LIST

1. The Count of Monte Cristo (Complete and Unabridged) Alexandre Dumas
2. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Douglas Adams
3. The Arabian Nights Barnes and Noble Classics Edition
4. Wicked Gregory Maguire
5. Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister Gregory Maguire
6. Mansfield Park Jane Austen
7. Emma Jane Austen
8. Mirror Mirror Gregory Maguire
9. Pride and Prejudice Jane Austen
10. The Devil Wears Prada Lauren Weisberger
11. P.S. I Love You Cecelia Ahern
12. In Her Shoes Jennifer Weiner
13. Sense and Sensibility Jane Austen
14. Northanger Abbey Jane Austen
15. Persuasion Jane Austen
16. Lady Susan Jane Austen
17. Les Miserables Victor Hugo
18. The Restaurant at the End of the Universe Douglas Adams
19. Life, the Universe and Everything Douglas Adams
20. So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish Douglas Adams
21. Mostly Harmless Douglas Adams
22. Young Zaphod Plays It Safe Douglas Adams
23. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone J. K. Rowling
24. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets J. K. Rowling
25. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkahban J. K. Rowling
26. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire J. K. Rowling
27. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix J. K. Rowling
28. Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince J. K. Rowling
29. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
    -though not until after July of 2011
30. Turning Tables Heather & Rose MacDowell
31. Shoots to Kill Kate Collins
32. Sinister Sudoku Kaye Morgan
33. An Abundance of Katherines John Green
34. Dead Witch Walking Kim Harrison
35. Guilty Pleasures Laurell K. Hamilton
36. The Laughing Corpse Laurell K Hamilton
37. Circus of the Damned Laurell K Hamilton
38. The Lunatic Cafe Laurell K Hamilton
39. Bloody Bones Laurell K Hamilton
40. The Killing Dance Laurell K Hamilton
41. Burnt Offerings Laurell K Hamilton
42. Blue Moon Laurell K Hamilton
43. Obsidian Butterfly Laurell K Hamilton
44. Narcissus in Chains Laurell K Hamilton
45. Cerulean Sins Laurell K Hamilton
46. Incubus Dreams Laurell K Hamilton
47. Micah Laurell K Hamilton
48. Danse Macabre Laurell K Hamilton
49. The Harlequin Laurell K Hamilton
50. Blood Noir Laurell K Hamilton
51. Skin Trade Laurell K Hamilton
52. Flirt Laurell K Hamilton
53. Bullet Laurell K Hamilton
54. Hit List Laurell K Hamilton
55. Fahrenheit 451 Ray Bradburg
56. Twentysomething Margeret Feinberg
57. The First Death Laurell K Hamilton
58. Gil Elvgren: All His Glamorous American Pin-Ups Charles G. Martignette & Louis K. Meisel
59. The Good, The Bad, and The Undead Kim Harrison
60. Every Which Way But Dead Kim Harrison
61. A Fistful of Charms Kim Harrison
62. For a Few Demons More Kim Harrison
63. The Outlaw Demon Wails Kim Harrison
64. White Witch, Black Curse Kim Harrison
65. Black Magic Sanction Kim Harrison
66. Pale Demon Kim Harrison
67. Harry Potter: Wizarding Magic Brian Sibley

In an effort to keep this relatively short I'm going to wrap this up here. I'll do a follow up containing the complete list of books that I'm planning on reading in the months to come. I will also note that I have found only one book that goes against my belief that the book is always better than it's movie counterpart. And on that note, goodnight.

Only I can be this convoluted. Why?

I have a girl crush.

What is a girl crush?

A girl crush is for a straight girl what a man crush is for a straight man. That is when a straight girl has a "crush" on another girl, not sexual but kind of idolizing her. Unfortunately my girl crush takes it a few steps further. I'm tacking on these few requirements for as I'm a girl and I can get away with more before being called a lesbian. For all intensive purposes one or both of the following apply:

• You are attracted to a person of the same sex.
• You are turned on by a person of the same sex.

This, of course, is when you don't typically have such feelings for those of the same sex. I, while straight, am attracted to a woman. Therefore I have a girl crush. Sorry Kristen Stewart, but I've just upped your creepy circumstances meter, you as Joan Jett in The Runaways gives me butterflies every time.

This is so much further along than I care to admit. However I feel that if I put it out in the world that I might get over this. I go through the performances in the movie to catch glimpses of her. I slow the film down in order to watch her look up from her guitar. The smoky eyes, the thick eyeliner. The gum chewing. Until now I thought that there was no sexy way to chew anything. I stand corrected. Then there's just her look. I think that's more Kristen than Joan, but whoever is showing through has got it. I don't even know what "it" is. All I know is that it makes me smile and I have to shake my head to clear it and focus. And her hair. I sigh when I think about her hair. Short, black and long enough to move when she plays but short enough to stay out of her face. I can't forget the face, her face. The way she looks at you with the intensity that can say so much. The way she can smile with only the slightest curve of her mouth...

okok, I'm out of it.

All of this and she isn't even real. The actual Joan Jett, in all her glory (and there is a lot of glory) just isn't the same. This girl who is on drugs but brilliant. There are so many things that say no yet I'm still metaphorically running towards her. This is cruel. I need this to pass. I have no idea what to do with myself, how to get over this. I have a headache.

Banana Pudding!

So yesterday today was approaching. What was so special about today was that it was the last day for our summer staff at my nine to five. I just recently finished revamping my cookbook and excited as I was for my finished product I took the book to my job and showed it off. I had everyone looking through it, which lead to the "you should cook something for us and bring it to work." Not being able to actually say no to these guys, I gathered up the necessary ingredients and prepared for my first experience of wholly from scratch cooking.

First of all, it wasn't as bad as I thought it was. It definitely was interesting, but not that bad. I got to rig my own double boiler (all those years of watching Food network have proven useful, thank you Alton Brown). I mixed the ingredients a little out of order which, I think, is what resulted in the very slightly gritty texture as an end product. My pudding ended thick...not too runny. It was sweet as expected and no disaster happened as result of me upping the ingredients by 50% in order to have some for home and work. I didn't have to scrap a first or second batch though I was worried at first due to the ingredient order debacle. Everyone was telling me that it was great. I don't think that I have that many people in my life who will eat it and tell me it was good, let alone great, in order to spare my feelings.

I'm deeming my first try at Banana Pudding a success. I slightly gritty success that will get better as I keep making it. I would like to thank my inspirations. Catharine, thanks for you're making me cupcakes for my birthday. Sara, thanks for sharing that cooking is you unwind method. And Ellen and Matt, thanks for my not wanting to tell you know because you happen to be awesome.

I did it! No, not that...

When I was little I would watch my Aunt Maria in the kitchen while she cooked. I admit I found a lot of pleasure in just sitting on the sideline. I even helped a few times. As one of my birthday's approached she asked my what I wanted. I replied that I wanted a cookbook. I wanted her recipes so that I could continue to cook the family favorites.

She gave me one. My very own cookbook titled, very originally, Jasmine's Cook Book: From Aunt Maria 07/01. (I received apologies for the misspelled name.) In this book was a collection of recipes that, while I'm not certain, I believe she gathered from a plethora of sources as well as her own that make appearances at all the major family gatherings.

I loved it! I had it for years...granted I didn't use it much, but it was awesome. Since then I collected recipes that I wanted to try. I wanted to add them into my cookbook but they didn't seem to fit in. My book in though, all it's glory, lacked a few things such as organization. There was no table of contents. Sometimes there would be a beginning of a recipe here and the end of it five pages later. Or a beginning of a recipe with no ending and vice versa.

Well, as my senses grew this just wasn't enough. I wanted to add my own and organize those recipes that were there. Then out of nowhere my friend Meagan dumped 10 back issues of Rachel Ray's magazine in my lap and it was a done deal. I really perused Jasmine's Cook Book and put recipes together as well as sorted the recipes into some sort of semblance of order. I spent weeks going through the mags, finding what I wanted to try and vetoing the not-gonna-happens, cutting them out and sorting them into groups of main ingredients. With that finished I started pasting them to sheets of colored card paper all while cataloging what was on what page. Then the arts and crafts portion was done and I had to move into the most difficult part: manufacturing a numbering system for order and some semblance of professionalism. I have to say it's the most professional part of the entire book. I now have a 20-page Table of Contents to organize the 430something recipes into list that sort them by main ingredients as well as by page number and alphabetically. All of this I have compiled into *drum roll please* Jasmin's Cookbook: From Aunt Maria 07/01 Enhanced by me 08/10

I would just like to say that I appreciate the foundation that my Aunt Maria gave me in 2001 (I still can't believe that it's been that long) and that I'm excited about this same book all over again. I made a few mistakes that I refused to go back and fix...(e.g. the Apple Stuffed Sausages in the dessert section), but it's not to shabby if I may say so myself. Here's a couple more pics.

What sucks before you die? Life

Wow, I didn't think I would discuss this online. I feel like my life has come at a standstill. I'm watching my friends either moving forward quickly or being complacent with what they have. I even see those having a quarter-life crisis without any means to get out, yet still managing to keep going. I'm told to look at how I want to spend the rest of my life. I don't have a clue. Or if I stumble upon an inkling...I have no idea how to get there. I spend my time tripping over the big picture, not knowing where to begin. Breaking down issues and solving them in sections is not a strong point of mine. I look at the entire clusterf**k and crap myself.

I can do anything. That's what the adults try to program into you when you're young. You can do anything. Well truth, you can't . Not only can you not do anything, but there will definitely be things that they will try to dissuade you against. I want to act. It is a passion of mine. It is not, however, the most secure of careers. Not impossible, but when you are used to security the choice between going out on a limb and settling down leaves you with the premature chills of the lonely breeze on that limb or the regret and boredom of not doing something you love. I'm stuck.

I want to live a life that I love. Problem is that so do other people. There will always be someone better than me. ALWAYS! I will have to struggle for that. Things have not been nor will they be handed to me.

I want to live a life where I don't have monetary problems. Problem: there will always be monetary problems. More money, more problems. And finding a steady job and reveling in it when the only stimulation I get is from my brand new calculator... I'll get bored and burn out. I can't help be see myself losing my job from not having any initiative, well no thanks.

I have recently evaluated my living situation. I hate it. The self-proclaimed proverb I learned in church is ringing in my ears lately. "Life sucks, then you die." I'm allowing this to weigh in on my entire perception of life. I hate my living arrangement. I hate my job. I hate my commute to work. I hate the pointless/useless feeling I feel whenever I get to work. Then how it remains with me as I navigate throughout the day. I hate getting out of bed. I hate being alone. I hate that I seem to not be able to appreciate anything at all. It sucks. Work sucks. Home sucks. In between sucks. I'm floating. Not actively moving forward or going anywhere. I complain about everything, yet do nothing. I'm not changing it, so why am I complaining?

Because it's easy.

Action is hard. Getting up and fighting for a better day requires work. It all requires work. I keep telling myself that if I won't do anything about it, I have no place to complain. I'm ready to work (or hopefully my lack of fulfillment will push me). I have to improve my life. I want to like something...and I would love to love something much more. I need to move forward. Step out of my quarter-life crisis and do something. I want to try another passion of mine on for size. I want to go back to school. And just to keep me on my toes, consider a double major.

Steps to take:

• apply to University of North Texas
• research Development Family Studies
• contact SAT for my scores
• contact ACT for my scores
• contact high school for my transcript
• apply for FASFA
• contact loan personnel
• see what ever else is needed and do it
• find a new job
• save money to get a car
• celebrate for moving forward

All of these will be done in whatever order necessary. Just as long as they get done. I'm aiming to be enrolled in school for the 2011-12 school year. Here's praying for a life worth living.