One foot in front of the other

I'm in my last days of going about my days with reckless abandon. At least as it pertains to my body. So what do I do in preparation? Binge eat of course. I'm planning on cutting my portions as I stated yesterday on July 1st. I want to try for a healthier me. I can't do that if I keep eating the same amount I'm currently used to. However, there are a few things that I want to indulge in before I crack down.

First I want a burger from Burger Island. I've found myself craving one several times over the last few days. I also want to satiate my Chinese craving. These things will not help me in the long run, I am aware. I already feel the strain my bad choices are putting on my body. It's part of the reason I desire a change.

Recently my feet have been hurting in a way that I haven't felt before. Growing up there was a time I had chronic foot pain. It consisted of my feet hurting when I applied pressure as well as when I released pressure if I was on them for too long. I never did find out what caused it. Shortly after that started happening I lost some weight and haven't had that problem since. Now I feel as though a ligament is strained. Except I'm not entirely sure if that is what I'm feeling. All I know is that there is an almost burning pain when I squeeze my foot. It started in my left foot and then I woke up feeling it in both. I was very happy about that.

I am doing a little bit to prepare for the change. I got up and went on my three mile walk. It finally clicked that I was walking with traffic the whole way and that I should change that. I did so today. It. Was. Hell. I don't know if it was because I was having a difficult time getting out of my head. I don't know if it was the drinking that happened on Friday night. Maybe it was the stroganoff and hard cider I had on Saturday night. Maybe it was everything, but today was the hardest three miles I've ever walked. I didn't make it half way before I was acutely aware of my breathing, the blisters developing on my feet, the cramp in abdomen and the other 1.5 miles that was yet to come. There was at least thirty minutes of me telling myself that I could finish, that I had done this walk before. Not to mention the parts where I begged myself to listen to the music and just keep going. I made it though. Being on my feet at work all day after this morning was not ideal, but I did that as well. I'm going to be so sore tomorrow. I can already feel it setting in.

Can I just be less squishy?

I am pushing myself into another diet of sorts. It's not really a diet as those never work. I just want to be healthier. I want to be more active. I feel that if I lost weight I'd be more active. What better way to lose the weight than to be more active. Eh? See what I did there? I have many many problems with losing weight.

For one thing, I need to resist the urge to eat so much. Since I tend to eat so quickly that by the time my body has caught up to the fact I am full, I've overdone it. The problem is the feeling of being hungry frustrates me. It has always been the one thing that bugged me the most. Over the years it was always the only thing that encouraged my brief stints of taking diet pills.

I want to be more thin. By no means to I want to be a toothpick. It's an unrealistic goal that I am not seeking. More accurately, I want to be slimmer than what I am. I just want to feel less heavy. If there is less of me being drug around I may have more energy to bike and run and hike and do things that don't involve being stationary. I can't say how many times recently I've wanted to pick up a new sport. For some reason I want to learn how to penny board. Is it called a penny board in America? A question I keep wondering.

I am trying to figure out this whole thing without going to a nutritionist. I am thinking that I am going to do my best to work out every day. I also want to be more conscious of my portions. Despite hating the feeling of being hungry I want to strive for consuming half my usual portion size. I also want to give myself a cheat day in the month so I am not always consumed by cravings. More specifically I want to do the following things:

• cut soda
• cut juice
• cut sugary sweets
• half my portions
• work out daily

Hopefully I can stick to this. There are a few rewards that I have in store for myself if I succeed. One of which being a day at the theme park riding some roller coasters. It's not that I can't now. Only I've done the walk of shame and I am rather reluctant to find out these hips don't lie. All I want for Christmas is a healthier me. That's my Christmas wish. Truly though, I want to start on July 1st. Here goes nothing.

I want my glasses

I seem to be an arms length yet worlds away from so many things. I can't put into words half of what is going through my head, so instead I'll talk about glasses.

All day long all I can think about is the eminent arrival of my glasses. Of course the thing I am most excited about are the sunglasses. A pair of shades that I can where sans glasses or contact and still see. Huzzah! I probably should have asked after I ordered my glasses (the pair I ordered in person) when they were expected to be in. Alas, I did not. Now every day is a mystery. Either way they are coming. Yey.

Sleep on a day off? Not this time

Finally. I used a day off the way it's supposed to be used. I didn't sleep through the day though at first I thought I would. I fell asleep again without finishing everything the night before. I woke up thinking that I wanted to finish my slightly uncomfortable rest in a more comfortable way. I talked myself out of it.

I decided to earn myself some money. That was easy. I may be able use that to get some prescription sunglasses. I'm excited about that. Then I finally scheduled my eye exam that was supposed to take place in January. I've committed to a more prominent set of glasses that I'm half excited about and half nervous about. It's a bit of a bold statement. I feel like I subconsciously took a step towards being more of a hipster. I shouldn't be surprised, it's been brewing for a while.

I got to hang out with a friend that I hadn't seen in a while. That was cool. We got lunch and chatted about a plethora of things. I even paid the bills today. Things just happened. Well, some things. I did not get around to cleaning my room, doing my laundry, washing my hair, or taking out my trash. Baby steps, I guess. I'm beginning to understand why it's important to have two days off. One is there to recuperate from the beat down the work week delivers. The other one serves as free time to handle business. I should probably make some changes so I can get back to having two days off a week. After five years it's starting to get to me. Interesting.

DPC

The last few weeks have beat me down. It was crazy sauce.

The other night I went to see Driftless Pony Club. They're on tour and came through town. I decided to not miss an opportunity to meet someone who feels like they are in a different universe. I understand that they are just people who make videos. However, I am looking into the lives of people who aren't my personal friends and don't live around me. That feels strangely intimate to me which makes me desire to meet them. Plus I have this thing for live music.

The venue was an coffee house, apropos for the front man who has a catchphrase "I love it when the coffee's done." I loved the vibe of the place and have decided to get my friends back over there sometime. Unfortunately for the band (fortunately for me as I'm an old woman at heart), the band received some noise complaints and had to turn down the volume for their set after maybe two songs. Personally I felt the sound was more rounded that way. Let me explain, the venue was this small concrete basement. With the sound up so high all you heard was an overload of instruments and no vocals. Once the volume came down I could hear the songs being sung. Though it was sad to see that the drummer had to be turn it down. I've recently fallen in love with watching drummers do their thing.

The guys in the band were comedians at heart. They were cracking jokes in between songs. The bassist decided that he was rocking too hard to be on stage. He just backed off the stage, playing all the while. He back about ten feet into the crowd just because. I enjoyed watching them play. I also enjoyed meeting them afterwards. I got to talk to one of the guys about creepy pictures and stage a picture for the heck of it. I also failed to check a picture I took with another guy. I was so disappointed to find that picture was blurry.

Always check your photos or just get better at taking them.

Conversations get you great things.

Weeks of Awesome

My weeks of awesome have not come to a close just yet. It will tomorrow night. I'd say that I'm a little bummed about it but instead I am just excited. As I am always when it comes to being able to the chance to meet a Youtuber. Driftless Pony Club is coming to town bringing their front man, Craig Benzine, or Wheezy Waiter. I'm stoked. They are also bringing with them live music. Another concert to keep up my live music kick.

I've decided to be smart about this. Since I need to open at work tomorrow, sleep needs to happen now. As in right now. I will, however, put it off a little more to finish my thoughts. I have a plan to pack a change of clothes so I don't have to waste time coming home to change. I am thinking that a double lunch needs to be packed in order for me to save my money buying CDs at the concert. My mind is running a hundred thoughts a minute. At least I know where I'm going this time. Yey practice drive. I won't get lost like I almost did going to the Subbox Tour.

In other news, PoPS is releasing it's 8th episode in three days. Maybe that's why I'm not bummed about my weeks of awesome coming to an end. I consciously forgot but subconsciously remembered that it isn't. I now have PoPS to look forward to as well.

That weekend. Man.

My first day back to work after stretching myself way thin this weekend. Talk about a difficult time. Even with yesterday off from life I still ended up staying up until after midnight to bring in my mother's new year on this planet. Happy Birthday, Mom.

It's now been a few days of pushing forward with less than the ideal amount sleep. Unlike Warped Tour work didn't have as much stimulation to keep me feeling energized. I made it through the day but it was a long one. I feel like a dead girl walking all day long Also it's definite that I burned on neck and shoulders. I'm not blistering like my friend, so that's a thing.