Excited. Obsessed. Either way it leads to self-hate.

I need to go to bed (she notes as if she hasn't started many other posts with that observation).  I'm giving myself a headache. I'm completely amped about a project that isn't even mine. It's time for me to take a walk down memory lane and see...




how obsessed I am.

Man.

Talk about a rude awakening.

The object right now is PoPS. Unfortunately, the me I'm finding as I read past blogs is the me that I want desperately not to be. The super fan... also known as the OBSESSED fan.

I have to check myself to keep from messaging them multiple time throughout the week. I want to be friends when I know I don't quite deserve the title. Basically, I feel that if anyone was bombarding me as hard as I'm bombarding them, I would hate that person. Problem is, I don't know how to chill. Plus I don't want to. I might as well remain a nuisance throughout the remaining episode.

Being obsessed over Harry Potter was so much easier. In a way, I could always hide behind the series. I wasn't able to pinpoint one specific person and come way too close to professing undying fanship. This may be my insecurities, but there isn't much that I do without imagining them on the other side saying, "Holy smokes, will this girl eat shit and die already."





And this post is proof that I'm at my most optimistic at the end of my day. Clearly. I didn't even come here to bemoan my lack of control and shit on my excitement. I came here because sometimes all you need is 21 seconds, as seen here: