I bought Paramore by Paramore and got extra excited to see them live. I bought a ticket for their stop in my town on Monumentour. I had a panic attack thinking I missed the show. Then I worked a full day on the day of the show.
Then the show happened.
Paramore cancelled their set.
I got rained on.
There was lightning.
The power went out.
New Politics had to vacate the stage mid-set.
Things were on a downward spiral.
And then they weren't. Fall Out Boy took the stage and well... More on that later.
Tuesday, August 5, 2014
Deep breath in, exhale. Don't cry. It really is okay.
An E-mail sent was sent to me letting me know that I concert I was looking forward to was about to happen. A run of the mill get-your-ticket-before-it's-too-late message. I, thinking it's a reminder for Monumentour, clicked on it expecting to see details for Tuesday night. Instead I saw details for Aug 2. As in a day that has passed. As in I sat in my bed while this concert happened. Hands shaking I start looking at every bit of information I thought I had. I finally find my ticket and see that it does say Aug 5th, the day I had on my calendar. I go back to the E-mail and finally see it. It's for a city I do not live in. Oh man. That scared me. My heart started racing and even though I haven't missed this concert I feel tears threatening.
This little incident played to my fears. I have had long days that have caused me to forget my evening commitments. With the way work has been going it feels like a very real possibility for me to have a long day and just go home forgetting the concert. Only realizing my folly upon waking up the next day. In fact, I just did such a thing on Friday. I was planning on going to a friend's birthday celebration but forgot after a co-worker kept me at work an extra hour. The thought that I'll just forget about this concert fits so well with my dingbat antics that I am so scared I'll actually forget.
Despite being so excited for this concert. Despite playing the music I can't wait to see repeatedly. Despite it not being the 5th and still having the chance to attend, I deeply shaken by what I thought was an actualization of my fears. This may be a mixture of my love for music and my need for sleep and exercise.
This is what I get for not checking my E-mails regularly.
This little incident played to my fears. I have had long days that have caused me to forget my evening commitments. With the way work has been going it feels like a very real possibility for me to have a long day and just go home forgetting the concert. Only realizing my folly upon waking up the next day. In fact, I just did such a thing on Friday. I was planning on going to a friend's birthday celebration but forgot after a co-worker kept me at work an extra hour. The thought that I'll just forget about this concert fits so well with my dingbat antics that I am so scared I'll actually forget.
Despite being so excited for this concert. Despite playing the music I can't wait to see repeatedly. Despite it not being the 5th and still having the chance to attend, I deeply shaken by what I thought was an actualization of my fears. This may be a mixture of my love for music and my need for sleep and exercise.
This is what I get for not checking my E-mails regularly.
Sunday, August 3, 2014
Rat a Tat
Here we are again. Sitting in excitement about what is to come.
Monumentour is two days away. It's a little surprising to me how excited I am. I remember when I got it into my head that I wanted to go to a Paramore concert. I remember when I told myself to stop being silly about the fact that they were coming with Fall Out Boy. I even remember when the game changer happened.
A friend of mine had me watch the video Fall Out Boy made for their album. The entire album. While it was a bit much, it did what it was made to do. It gave me a reason to sit and listen to the album. A decision that lead to me purchasing it for further research.
My only opinion is it's so good. When I listen to Paramore, I want to see them live. I had it in my mind that I needed to make this happen. So I purchased a ticket to Monumentour. Now, listening to Save Rock and Roll, it's getting to the point that I get butterflies in my stomach thinking about the greatness of this concert. To say I am excited... Butterflies. I literally want to jump for joy when I think about it. I can hardly wait to be present for this showcase of... Of what I feels speaks to and resonates in my soul. A bit much. I don't care.
Music that I love is going to happen in live in a venue and I will be there. I will see the music as it unfolds from their hands and throats. I will ride the highs and lows of the energy put off by those surrounding me who also feel the love I feel. Why would I want to be anywhere else?
Whoa. I am riling myself up. I shall stop talking about this until a later date.
Monumentour is two days away. It's a little surprising to me how excited I am. I remember when I got it into my head that I wanted to go to a Paramore concert. I remember when I told myself to stop being silly about the fact that they were coming with Fall Out Boy. I even remember when the game changer happened.
A friend of mine had me watch the video Fall Out Boy made for their album. The entire album. While it was a bit much, it did what it was made to do. It gave me a reason to sit and listen to the album. A decision that lead to me purchasing it for further research.
My only opinion is it's so good. When I listen to Paramore, I want to see them live. I had it in my mind that I needed to make this happen. So I purchased a ticket to Monumentour. Now, listening to Save Rock and Roll, it's getting to the point that I get butterflies in my stomach thinking about the greatness of this concert. To say I am excited... Butterflies. I literally want to jump for joy when I think about it. I can hardly wait to be present for this showcase of... Of what I feels speaks to and resonates in my soul. A bit much. I don't care.
Music that I love is going to happen in live in a venue and I will be there. I will see the music as it unfolds from their hands and throats. I will ride the highs and lows of the energy put off by those surrounding me who also feel the love I feel. Why would I want to be anywhere else?
Whoa. I am riling myself up. I shall stop talking about this until a later date.
Saturday, August 2, 2014
Maybe my greatest love despite what you think
There seem to be a lot of requirements surrounding a person's ability to be passionate. I will admit that I have been guilty of criticizing the love and passion of others. I have mixed up one's love with one's ability to be a FAQs page. I'll admit to being wrong about that here: I am wrong. This realization came when someone called into question my love of music.
Two-fold situation: First, recently I have been told by several people that I know it all when it comes to music. I sing along to just about everything when I am familiar enough. Basically give me two days of the radio and I'll know enough Top 40* to be able to cancel it's irritation by singing along. I refute the accusation of musical omniscience because it just isn't true. My most accurate response is that I listen to a lot of music. Which, while I feel represents me well, also feels inaccurate in the grand scheme of things. I mean, on a global scale of music out there versus what I've heard... Astronomical difference.
Second, someone told me I didn't know music because I wasn't knowledgeable with every lyric that fell from the mouth of Ozzy Osbourne. I know who he is and I understand he is a pillar in the music industry. However, the genre he represents isn't my go to. Similar to rap.
I'm speaking out against people who crap on other people's passions just because their requirements aren't met. I refuse to allow someone's outside view tell me how I feel about music. My music collection represents a lot of different genres but by no means all of them and certainly not equally.
Though this little high horse has my thinking. This just may be a well timed experiment to promote self-awareness. Knowing that there are times where I am far too sensitive should prepare me for dealing with my own reactions. Instead of getting irritated I should just remind myself that I don't know everything there is to know about music. Plus it isn't bad to remember that other opinions do not take away what music is to me. Now I understand how it feels to impose my requirements on the passions of others. No one asked me and I need to never stop shutting up.
For some people being passionate is knowing everything. I have been obsessed with that line of thinking in the past. Life just recently taught me that wasn't always necessary. Music being one example. I am not stuck in the music that happened three decades ago. It is great, but not everything. There is so much new stuff to find and explore. There are so many artist coming out and showing new ways to use music for expression. I'd say I'm stuck in the now, yet it's really just what's brought to my attention. An album sounds great and will be released next week, I want it. An album has a great rhythm and was dropped ten years ago, I want it.
I just want to continue my romance with music.
*No offense meant to Top 40, I just find it annoying that radio doesn't seem to diversify. Ever.
Two-fold situation: First, recently I have been told by several people that I know it all when it comes to music. I sing along to just about everything when I am familiar enough. Basically give me two days of the radio and I'll know enough Top 40* to be able to cancel it's irritation by singing along. I refute the accusation of musical omniscience because it just isn't true. My most accurate response is that I listen to a lot of music. Which, while I feel represents me well, also feels inaccurate in the grand scheme of things. I mean, on a global scale of music out there versus what I've heard... Astronomical difference.
Second, someone told me I didn't know music because I wasn't knowledgeable with every lyric that fell from the mouth of Ozzy Osbourne. I know who he is and I understand he is a pillar in the music industry. However, the genre he represents isn't my go to. Similar to rap.
I'm speaking out against people who crap on other people's passions just because their requirements aren't met. I refuse to allow someone's outside view tell me how I feel about music. My music collection represents a lot of different genres but by no means all of them and certainly not equally.
Though this little high horse has my thinking. This just may be a well timed experiment to promote self-awareness. Knowing that there are times where I am far too sensitive should prepare me for dealing with my own reactions. Instead of getting irritated I should just remind myself that I don't know everything there is to know about music. Plus it isn't bad to remember that other opinions do not take away what music is to me. Now I understand how it feels to impose my requirements on the passions of others. No one asked me and I need to never stop shutting up.
For some people being passionate is knowing everything. I have been obsessed with that line of thinking in the past. Life just recently taught me that wasn't always necessary. Music being one example. I am not stuck in the music that happened three decades ago. It is great, but not everything. There is so much new stuff to find and explore. There are so many artist coming out and showing new ways to use music for expression. I'd say I'm stuck in the now, yet it's really just what's brought to my attention. An album sounds great and will be released next week, I want it. An album has a great rhythm and was dropped ten years ago, I want it.
I just want to continue my romance with music.
*No offense meant to Top 40, I just find it annoying that radio doesn't seem to diversify. Ever.
Wednesday, July 23, 2014
I love you, Music.
Just when I think I'll have to hold off on all the music I want to purchase, my birthday happens. Thanks to my mother and dear friend, I now have five new albums on their way to me. Then my sister allowed me to con her into buying yet another CD earlier today. Heck yeah for sixty dollars worth of music that didn't take away from gas money.
This couldn't come at a better time. I find myself constantly frustrated as of late. Now I can ease into my music and forget about being angry for a few moments. Having new sounds allows me to keep from being so irritated that I decide to sit in silence because nothing sounds right. Who knows, if the music is good enough I may come out of it with a goofy grin. Goofy grin means infinitely better mood than hateful scowl.
Music. Will anyone ever treat me as well as you? Will all of my other relationships pale in comparison to the brilliant passion we have? I'll just focus on our now. I love you, Music.
This couldn't come at a better time. I find myself constantly frustrated as of late. Now I can ease into my music and forget about being angry for a few moments. Having new sounds allows me to keep from being so irritated that I decide to sit in silence because nothing sounds right. Who knows, if the music is good enough I may come out of it with a goofy grin. Goofy grin means infinitely better mood than hateful scowl.
Music. Will anyone ever treat me as well as you? Will all of my other relationships pale in comparison to the brilliant passion we have? I'll just focus on our now. I love you, Music.
Monday, July 21, 2014
Birth-weekend
My very first. It was awesome. My actual birthday was great. I started it with breakfast with my mother. The food was good. Her company was awesome. I bugged my sister while she was at her hair appointment. Then there was work. It wasn't that bad... It... yeah. I just summed it up. It wasn't that bad. My friend got her brother and my roommate together and took me out to dinner afterwards. She let me know that she had a vast budget for me to squander. I had an appetizer, dinner, dessert and a couple of drinks to boot. I thank her vastly for the evening of attention. She even got me my favorite energy drink as a gift.
Today started with a stark difference to the bliss I felt yesterday. I woke up cursing my job before convincing myself to get out of bed. I was so irritated on my way to work that I thanked the traffic jam that delayed me. Work happened. It ended. I was happy the day was over. Getting home took less time then I expected, especially since I felt like every other driver was working solely to slow me down.
Then things took a turn. Upon getting home my landlady asked me if I got a package from my brother for my birthday. I was confused because I hadn't received a package. Then it clicked. I backed a web series about nine months ago. The premiere of the latest episode just happened. My DVD had arrived. To say I was excited cheapens the level of emotion felt. I've been wanting to binge watch the episodes for weeks now.
After forcing those around me to be excited about this, I went back to clean up the package I'd tossed aside for my prize within. I picked up the package to throw it away and heard something move inside. Upon looking inside I saw buttons. Back story time:
When the campaign launched to fund the episode I wanted a combination of things that weren't packaged together. There was a level of donating that gave me a button set. Then there was a level that gave me all of the episodes up to the current one getting ready to launch (the package I wanted). I sought out the creator to see how much money did he want for me to get the DVD set and the buttons. He told me that he'd do some research and get back to me. I never heard back. I messaged him again to no avail. With hope lost I donated for the DVD set and gave up on the buttons. Today I get the DVD set and find that even though I didn't give more for them, he included the buttons in my package.
I immediately messaged him letting him know that he was the cherry on top of my cake of a weekend. Expressing my happiness at finding that I wasn't forgotten or ignored when I thought no solution could be reached. Being forever the number one reason I still enjoy participating in YouTube, he responded to me.
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As shown I then mentioned my birthday despite my desire to tell everyone who when completely unprovoked tell strangers it's their birthday that no one cares. Thinking for sure that the conversation was over on his end, I threw it out there and was pleasantly surprised again.
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This night wrapped up with me being unable to contain my gushing about wanting to meet this man. I am such huge a fan of his content and opinions. This is even better than Google telling me happy birthday. And I was pretty stoked about that.
Today started with a stark difference to the bliss I felt yesterday. I woke up cursing my job before convincing myself to get out of bed. I was so irritated on my way to work that I thanked the traffic jam that delayed me. Work happened. It ended. I was happy the day was over. Getting home took less time then I expected, especially since I felt like every other driver was working solely to slow me down.
Then things took a turn. Upon getting home my landlady asked me if I got a package from my brother for my birthday. I was confused because I hadn't received a package. Then it clicked. I backed a web series about nine months ago. The premiere of the latest episode just happened. My DVD had arrived. To say I was excited cheapens the level of emotion felt. I've been wanting to binge watch the episodes for weeks now.
After forcing those around me to be excited about this, I went back to clean up the package I'd tossed aside for my prize within. I picked up the package to throw it away and heard something move inside. Upon looking inside I saw buttons. Back story time:
When the campaign launched to fund the episode I wanted a combination of things that weren't packaged together. There was a level of donating that gave me a button set. Then there was a level that gave me all of the episodes up to the current one getting ready to launch (the package I wanted). I sought out the creator to see how much money did he want for me to get the DVD set and the buttons. He told me that he'd do some research and get back to me. I never heard back. I messaged him again to no avail. With hope lost I donated for the DVD set and gave up on the buttons. Today I get the DVD set and find that even though I didn't give more for them, he included the buttons in my package.
I immediately messaged him letting him know that he was the cherry on top of my cake of a weekend. Expressing my happiness at finding that I wasn't forgotten or ignored when I thought no solution could be reached. Being forever the number one reason I still enjoy participating in YouTube, he responded to me.
Saturday, July 19, 2014
Happy Birthday
I seem to be celebrating my birthday as a birth-weekend. I didn't mean to. Between my family being busy and me working, I have people wanting to celebrate with me over the entire weekend. I have so many good people in my life. Earlier today I got to see a movie with my sister. The movie was sub par but her company was awesome. Then I was able to see a roller derby bout which I had been looking forward to for two months. Tomorrow will bring breakfast with my mother and dinner with a friend.
I find it silly but my DM sent me an E-mail wishing me a happy birthday. While I don't entirely feel they meant it or cared, it still made me smile. I guess that means the message did it's job. However my favorite was Google's birthday wish. One of my friends thought I was crazy for being happy about Google accurately stalking me. I don't care. I used to have entire photo folders on my computer devoted to the different Google logos. Having one directed to me is so awesome. Thank you, Google. Happy Birthday to me.
I find it silly but my DM sent me an E-mail wishing me a happy birthday. While I don't entirely feel they meant it or cared, it still made me smile. I guess that means the message did it's job. However my favorite was Google's birthday wish. One of my friends thought I was crazy for being happy about Google accurately stalking me. I don't care. I used to have entire photo folders on my computer devoted to the different Google logos. Having one directed to me is so awesome. Thank you, Google. Happy Birthday to me.
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